The Domino Effect
LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY -- A friend of mine that is not a member of this site, told me about his recent experience ordering a pizza. I told him to write it down and email it to me and I would post it. Here is his experience.
Disappointment arrived for dinner tonight, on time 30 minutes after I ordered it. “Wagon wheel” in shape and size and about as edible and appetizing - sheathed in enough cardboard to make me consider recycling. The Domino’s Thick Crust Extra Large Pepperoni shows up at my doorstep presented proudly by a teen who braved the sub-zero wind chill to bring us dinner on an evening when none of us wanted to get up, get out, or go out to a restaurant only to wait too long for bad service - longing for that happy vibrating feeling you get in your pocket that makes you feel “special” because YOU’ve been summoned to dine and are going to the front of the line to be seated ahead of other diners ala Seinfeld.
I disregarded the confusion on the cost, chalked it up to teenage angst and tipped the kid 3.50, apropos considering he only had to motor a mile or so to my house. Like vultures sizing up road kill, my wife, son and I circled the “circle” in a square box on the kitchen island, staking our claims on hearty looking triangles of pizza prized with the most little pepperoni circles – the conflicting geometry only adds to our hunger lust. We slap the slices on the family pattern, the 9” paper plate and gobble into high gear.
The first thing I found missing from the party was not only “taste” but also “texture.” Allegedly “thick crust,” I’d barely consider this a bump in the road. And only more disappointing was overall flavor. I’m not a pizza aficionado, in fact we very rarely order in, but I think I know a thing or two about what’s supposed to taste good, I’ve been eating for better than 45 years. Abundant pepperonis, though tasteless - accompanied by bland tomato sauce and an afterthought of cheese provided us with little more than comfort from the cold outside. I heard Chef-Boyardee chuckle heartily from the pantry. My 6 year old son chowed through about half of this pizza, not such a trick considering the crust was not so great and the overall appeal was blah – the wife and I agreed that the only thing good about dinner tonight was that we didn’t have to go out in the cold and pay too much for bad service at a restaurant where we’d feel compelled to tip on top of paying too much for small portions in this down economy. At least we were served disappointment at home for a change.
With coupon and tip we three dined tonight for a bit less than 20 dollars, and I can’t knock the price of beer out of the home fridge. Future pizza purchases are not too likely to come from this establishment though, we’ll consider another chain or a local I suppose. I realize in life you often get what you pay for – I just didn’t think I was paying disappointment. ‘nuff said.