Make A Wish

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No playhouse for Maddy
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We recently received a wish for our granddaughter that we are raising. She has OI, a brittle bone disease that is very painful. She has had 30+ fractures and 10 surgeries. She is a little person. I am raising two others with same disease. After having Disney Trip denied because I had to have emergency surgery, and Make a wish was anxious to get her wish done, they said she could have her next wish which was handicapped playground equipment. After waiting weeks, we were told no, she might fall. They said they would grant her third choice, a playhouse. They said it would be 4x8. We said no thank you. Finally they said 10x16, cream color, with a porch. Make-a-wish policy is that no cost is incured by the parents. At our expense we had to take down our fence, spend over 100 on preparing the site, after delivery put the fence back up. I was crushed when it was delivered.
Maddy got a tool shed. The door is made of vinyl siding, the windows are under the roof she can't open them or see out of them. It is not accessible, so in her wheelchair she cannot get in, neither can my other two kids in their wheelchairs. It is just rough splintered 2x4's
and we have found 5 large screws sticking out.
It has tractor doors at one end, but the latch is 6 ft. up and I can barely reach it. The steps in are lined with the steel they make truck tool boxes out of. The kids are not allowed in, even if they could get in with their wheelchairs. It is too dangerous. Our hope is that in the next few months we can afford to have a construction company rebuild it.
I wrote Make-a-wish headquarters, their response was we are not allowed to improve the playhouses.
But on their own website, they have pictures of beautiful playhouses. One has pink walls inside with a mock fireplace, and furniture..One is made to look like a bus, but has electricity, an arcade, TV, DVD player, fully furnished.
They told us that we were to throw a party to celebrate the playhouse, but that they would only provide one food, so it could either be cake or pizza but not both. They sent one volunteer to help with his son, we had to provide tools, $20 in batteries, for a kitchen set for toddlers that she can't reach. I provided everything but the pizza. We ended up calling everyone and cancelling except for a few that we couldn't get ahold of. We were embarrasssed to have a party for a tool shed that the kids can't go in.
Maddy is going to be 9 in two weeks, and last Wednesday had another extensive surgery..
She is heartbroken over the playhouse and now doesn't want to even go in to the backyard at all.
Shame on Make-a-wish for hurting a child that has gone through hell in her young life and taking away something that could have made her smile. I found a website that evaluates wish foundations, this one has make-a-wish with a 45% success rate....
     
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User Replies:
jktshff1 on 07/16/2009:
While I am sorry for the kid, you should have accepted the 4x8 an left it at that. As far as you paying, you are the one that required a place twice the size of what was offered.
sad mama on 07/16/2009:
Actually we said no thank you because in a wheelchair the 4x8 would not allow turning radius and would be dangerous for her to move around in. The 10x16 was offered not asked for.
BokiBean on 07/16/2009:
You are complaining about Make a Wish? Well, that just takes the cake...its a charitable organization!

All you had to do was turn it down and fulfill your child's wishes on your own.

The nerve...
jktshff1 on 07/16/2009:
I quit supporting Make a Wish when they decided that taking a kid hunting or shooting was no longer worth their while.
Principissa on 07/16/2009:
And I thought I saw them all until I read this one.
BokiBean on 07/16/2009:
They took a local kid here (she was 18) on a coast guard rescue day..saw it on the local news the other day. I was crying the whole time I watched it, because it was so wonderful!

jkt, knowing you, I understand..but they'd probably catch h3ll from animal organizations for that. Shooting, yes..hunting, no. But I get where you're coming from.
BokiBean on 07/16/2009:
Princi - me too! I just goes to show..there's always someone...
Anonymous on 07/16/2009:
this one is most definitely a bit touchy. one should always be grateful for charity organizations, but from the description the op gave this *playhouse* sounds utterly atrocious, not to mention dangerous for a kid bound to a wheelchair that is suffering from a bone disease.

I do wonder, sad mama, if it would help your case at all to request a senior member of make-a-wish to come out and visit your property in person to judge for themselves whether or not this structure is what was indeed intended and if it would considered acceptable by their standards and your grandchild's condition.

bless you for taking care of your grandbabies by the way.
jktshff1 on 07/16/2009:
They do good work, but I can put my money and time into an organization with views closer to mine.
Anonymous on 07/16/2009:
I think this is the ghost of Eileen BB, back from the grave to pull our cyber legs
BokiBean on 07/16/2009:
omg ken..you might be right! from everything I've read of Eileen's.. LOL!

jkt, ******! Perfectly put.

KJ, I think Make A Wish is caught between a rock and a hard place because of this child's condition. If her bones are brittle, they're worried she might get hurt on a traditional playset and I can understand their concern.
Anonymous on 07/16/2009:
Ken, I swear Eileen is haunting the halls around here again. Some really lame stuff has been showing up which can only be Eileen and her cell phone. *tears* "The 'hot' fudge was melting my ice cream".
DebtorBasher on 07/16/2009:
I hate seeing any child suffer and I'm sorry your granddaughter's health is so bad.

Personally, if her wish was for a playhouse, it was you who said 'no' when they offered the 4x8. I think it was because it wasn't good enough for you, but it wasn't YOUR wish. I don't think I'd be complaining about spending a hundred bucks to remove a fence, if it meant making the child's wish a possibility.
My prayers are with the children...but you need an attitude adjustment. The children won't even be able to enjoy what they have if they see you fighting about it...so, make the best of what they gave you...if there are adjustments needed then make them yourself...or get some volunteers to help with it.

I hate it when people are not appreciated for the good they try to do.
Anonymous on 07/16/2009:
Make-a-wish does a lot of good for the few times they may mess up. There are thousands of people no longer with us that got that one last wish because of Make-a-wish.
BokiBean on 07/16/2009:
Well said, super and DB.

Also, it has got to be SO discouraging to Make A Wish to not be able to make these people happy..
jktshff1 on 07/16/2009:
What boki said
Anonymous on 07/16/2009:
c'mon now folks, don't be so harsh on sad mama and start accusing her of being someone else for goodness sakes.



BokiBean on 07/16/2009:
good point KJ, since I've had it happen to me I need to shut up now. ;)
DebtorBasher on 07/16/2009:
I agree with Basher ^^^^^...uh, I mean, Boki!
BokiBean on 07/16/2009:
I agree with DB, I mean Me!

And let it be said that I still love it when someone types, "Eileen is that you?" in the comments section. Just funny stuff, no harm meant I'm sure.
DebtorBasher on 07/16/2009:
I don't think Eileen will return...she left with Steve's red stapler and I think she's afraid to face him now.
Anonymous on 07/16/2009:
I can almost 100% guarantee that this is not Eileen. Call it a hunch if you will.

It appears Make A Wish dropped the ball on this one. Indeed, they are a charity which means they are spending other people's donated money in order to fulfill dying children's last wishes. I find it dreadfully stupid the Make a Wish folks let bureaucratic policy adherence override common sense. Eh, what can you do?
BokiBean on 07/16/2009:
Crabs, I'm going to disagree with you on this one.. We're talking about people who were upset with Make A Wish only providing pizza or cake for a party. Who cares? Its a party! Kids don't care..they don't demand pizza AND cake, they're just happy to be there!

I just don't think you could have made these people happy.
Anonymous on 07/16/2009:
Boki, It's cool to disagree with me but do so fully knowing that you risk being wrong.
DebtorBasher on 07/16/2009:
Crabby...I hear Dayton calling you!
Anonymous on 07/16/2009:
No you don't Basher. I'm done with Dayton. You must be confusing Dayton with Warner Robins Georgia or Alexandria Virginia.

I think (finger's crossed) I can mark Dayton off my goto list for good now.
DebtorBasher on 07/16/2009:
I'm tellin' ya Crabs...Dayton's not done with you yet...you'll find out within the next two weeks...The Basher knows things!
Anonymous on 07/16/2009:
There ain't no use you bringing no jive to me your southern can belongs to me.
DebtorBasher on 07/16/2009:
Well...you know the Basher is always right...just you wait and see!
BokiBean on 07/16/2009:
laughs@you two.
sad mama on 07/18/2009:
Let me try and clarify. I am not this Eileen of who you speak. Yes we did turn down the 4x8 but only because not even one of my wheelchair bound kids could get into it and turn around and get out. Yes Make-a-wish is a charitable organization, but one with a lot of well paid employees.
I was not complaining about providing the cake, it was just a detail that was made worse by everything else. The playground equipment was to be for disabled children, not a traditional one. The true gist of the complaint is a little girl who was told that she would be getting an ACCESSIBLE playhouse, and not only didn't get it, but got a tool shed with splintered wood and metal steps that when wet are like stepping on oiled banana peels. It was a complaint about a little girl that is heartbroken because they didn't care enough that she is a dwarf. She can't get into it...she can't reach or see out of the windows. There are screws sticking out of the walls. I am aware that MAW has a walk on water reputation, but having had disabled children for 28 years, it is not really the case. Otherwise they would have better than a 45% success rate in this chapter for our area. All I was trying to get across is that if they are going to make them accessible and safe for other kids, they should have done it for her.
She will never get another wish. Yes we wish we could have done it for her by ourselves, We are grandparents raising two severely disabled children at great expense, we are raising a little girl from Russia who was in a desperate situation and has the same disease, I have Rhuematoid arthritis and my husband is retired military and has macular degeneration(going blind), from Desert Storm. Money does not grow on trees here. I just hated to see her cry, and it was MAW that suggested she look at the playhouses they have online, that is where she got her vision of what it would look like. We have friends that have kids that received MAW playhouse and they have electricity, airconditioning, a stone pathway, landscaping, a chandalier, they are accessible and safe. Believe me if we had been presented with a honest idea of what she would have been getting we would have said no thank you. There are other wish foundations that have a much higher success rate in granting wishes, and if I had known about them in time we would have definitely used them. Thank you for keeping an open mind and heart.........
DebtorBasher on 07/18/2009:
Sad Mama, thanks for returning with more detail. If those details were posted in the original complaint, then maybe we would have understood your situation better. Let me be the first to apologize if my comments came across rude towards you. With the additional details you provided, I can well understand why you are upset and disappointed. Without them, your original post came across as if you were unappreciative of something someone was trying to make good for your Granddaughter.

PS...
With great respect for your husband, I thank him for his service...God bless your family!
Eloise on 07/18/2009:
This GIFT was given with glad and giving hearts and it doesn't appear to be 'good enough' in your estimation. It appears that only a huge custom built play house placed on your property (even though you have a fence in the way, and not the right grounds for such a structure) and party paid for completely by Make A Wish would have satisfied you. Wow, I didn't realize your gratitude had such a high cost involved. Did you forget about the children still on the waiting list? In these trying econominc times giving to charitable organization is the first thing to go. Extravagant gifts just can't be done. You should have just said thank you!
BokiBean on 07/18/2009:
Emerson said, "The hand that feeds us is in danger of being bitten".
Eloise on 07/18/2009:
Nice, Boki! Emerson is the bomb!
BokiBean on 07/19/2009:
I love him too, Eloise..
Eloise on 07/19/2009:
Boki, you read as very well read. Who are your favorite Authors/Poets? (If you don't mind me asking. I'm a bibliophial and am always on the lookout for recommendations.)
BokiBean on 07/19/2009:
I'm so all over the place I don't have any favorite authors that come right to mind, but I do read all the time.

Right now, I'm reading about Brooke Astor, the socialite, and her family's attempts to steal her money as she was dying, titled Mrs Astor Sends Her Regrets. Really interesting.

I love any books about mountaineering and extreme adventuring..things I'll never experience. I'm also a western novel FREAK, but only certain authors (Robert B Parker, author of Appaloosa and Brimstone) and of course, Larry McMurtry.

I think I love nonfiction the best because you can't make that **** up.

I'm also switching that up the nonfiction with a completely erotic vampire novel..haha.

My favorite book of all time is Confederacy of the Dunces. Second favorite, Lonesome Dove.

I'm always on the lookout for new authors, or favorite authors. Any special authors/books on your plate?
Eloise on 07/19/2009:
I know it's corny pick but I love Shakespeare. The Bard just can't be beat. I've just finished 'American Colonies' by Alan Taylor a nonfiction book about our 'founding fathers'. But for just pure entertainment 've got to go with Clive Cussler.
BokiBean on 07/19/2009:
I adore Shakespeare..

I love movies adapted from Shakespeare and love nothing better than to settle on the couch after hubby goes to bed (poor guy, he can't hang with The Bard) and watch Titus again (dark, dark, dark!) or Zeffirilli's Romeo and Juliet.

I'm a sucker for tragedies..and nobody did them like Will.
Eloise on 07/19/2009:
Your absolutely right! There will never be an author, poet, playwright half as good Shakespeare.
old fart on 07/19/2009:
What about John Steinbeck and James Michener...?
Eloise on 07/19/2009:
Not so much! I just couldn't get into either of them.
BokiBean on 07/19/2009:
I've read Steinbeck but he always make me cry..especially The Red Pony. I still can't watch that movie to this day either.

Couldn't get into Michner either.
Eloise on 07/20/2009:
Boki, I devoured 'A Thousand Days In Tuscany' by Marlena De Blasi it was incredible. Check it out!
sad mama on 07/20/2009:
Eloise,

There is no waiting list with MAW.....not in this chapter or any others that I am aware of...

Obviously many of you have no compassion for a little girl who is traumatized by this and devastated.
I simply filed this complaint so that other parents of disabled children might tread lightly when looking into wishes..

Wishes are meant to come true, especially for a little girl who spends much of her life in unspeakable pain..
i_am_canadian on 07/20/2009:
No compassion, give me a break. Anyone with a shred of decency would have compassion for her given all that she's gone through. This isn't just about her anymore though, it's about you. You and your ungrateful attitude towards a very worthy charitable organization which has made countless final wishes a reality. They GAVE her a playhouse at virtually no cost to you, and yet you still have the nerve to complain.
Noneill on 07/20/2009:
The gift was crap and why should anyone be grateful for crap? Obviously the people at MAW are smoking something or just don't care about taking enough effort to do the job right. No one has to be thankful for a crappy gift. I would take a picture of it and send it to the head person at MAW and ask if this is the best they could do?
i_am_canadian on 07/20/2009:
Until I see a picture of it myself, I'm going to assume that she's exaggerating a tad in her favour. And might I also remind everyone that MAW is a charitable group who is not legally obligated to give anyone anything. They could have chosen to deny her request altogether.
BokiBean on 07/20/2009:
A gift is not about what is done, its about what was intended..

Their gift to you was to try to make your little girl happy.

Your gift to them was to anonymously complain on a website that can be seen by thousands of people and might even convince some people not to donate.

I hope that is not what you intended.
i_am_canadian on 07/20/2009:
Somehow I think it was. And I don't think this is the first time she's done something like it either.
Anonymous on 07/20/2009:
time to take a step back people, before this starts getting really ugly.

From what was posted, it appears that sad mama did indeed attempt to resolve this by first contacting make-a-wish before she posted here.

why on earth should sad mama have to post proof of her claim before anyone *here* will believe her? if that's the case, then admin best shut 'er down, because we're going to demand proof of all complaints going forward, else they shall be determined to be nothing more than cow dung.

sad mama has been accused of being some other cuckoo member and now she is being confused of outright lying. it's a sad day when a good person that provides love and care to children that would otherwise go without is treated in such a manner. shameful.

remember what they say about those that assume.
Anonymous on 07/20/2009:
Excellent comment KingJames!
BokiBean on 07/20/2009:
Pictures would be nice, but its not required..and all the comments about Elaine, I read as tongue-in-cheek. But that's just me.

Eloise on 07/20/2009:
I am Candian and Boki, best answers.
i_am_canadian on 07/20/2009:
Thanks. I can see coming here and complaining about a defective toaster or a leaky roof, but a charity funded playhouse? That's an awful lot of nerve.
I get the feeling your'e the type of person that exploits your daughter's illness at every possible opportunity for your own personal gain. Gifts, media publicity, financial aid, it's all about you, isn't it? I've seen it happen before and if I'm wrong I apologize, but I've read between the lines and I don't think I am.
jktshff1 on 07/20/2009:
no offense iac, but dang, the kanuck made good sense. LOL
Eloise on 07/20/2009:
IAC, I'm right behind you!
Anonymous on 07/20/2009:
I am canadian, you owe sad mama an apology now, not *if* she proves you wrong. what gives you the right to judge someone based on what you *think* you read between the lines?

it's OK to complain about a defective toaster on here but it's not OK to complain about something important like oh I don't know, a terminally ill child's wish. yea, I guess that makes sense. if you're a rock.
Lauren6996 on 07/20/2009:
Are their no churches or other programs that you could reach out to in your area? Maybe just to tell them you received a "playhouse" but that that the people that provided it to you were unable to give you one that was child friendly for your special needs grandchild? There might be people in your community that would be willing to fix it up to be more accessible for her. And I'm sure if you went to them just wanting to make it easier for her to get in and out of instead of asking for a/c and fountains someone would help you. Perhaps you and your Grand-daughter could do fun things to make her feel better about it, like plant flowers she picks out in front of it etc. she's still young and you can make kids excited about anything.
Anonymous on 07/20/2009:
Right on KingJames. Wow, just when I thought the meanness level of this joint couldn't get any higher here comes along another to set the bar. How sad.
Skye on 07/20/2009:
Sad Mama,

Bless you and your wonderful grandchildren that you take care of. Did MAW tell you why they weren't able to accommodate your grand daughter with a playhouse that would meet her needs??


BokiBean on 07/20/2009:
I will NEVER think its acceptable for this woman to complain on a consumer website about her disappointment in Make a Wish. Its WRONG and could do damage to the charity...if she needs to vent, she should call someone.

It is not the same thing as complaining about a corporation...its a charity for pete's sake. What is she trying to accomplish???????????
Anonymous on 07/20/2009:
I disagree Boki. Make a Wish is only as good as their deeds and by no means should they be protected against public scorn or derision. This OP merely stated an experience with this organization and I have no reason not to believe this account. If the facts cast MAW in a bad light then so be it. What really disgusts me is those who would make unfounded accusations that this OP is exploiting a loved ones, a childs for pete's sake terminal condition for their own benefit. There is no stretch of good taste or decency that can justify such a cold hearted allegation. Whatever one might think of this OP's claims they pale in comparison to some of the jacka$$ comments made on this thread. Like I said just when I thought this place couldn't get any nastier it does. Brutal.
Soaring Consumer on 07/20/2009:
Best answer Crabman.
Eloise on 07/20/2009:
Sad Mama wanted to shop around for wishes. Tell me how this isn't wrong? Best bang for her buck? She had already turned down a trip to Disney for pete sakes. She should have accepted the gift in the spirit in which it was given.
BokiBean on 07/20/2009:
Make A Wish should be subject to scorn and derision from anonymous posters? We'll never agree on that. If they didn't like it..they could TURN IT DOWN and let someone else get a wish they would appreciate.
BokiBean on 07/20/2009:
"...electricity, an arcade, TV, DVD player, fully furnished..." Give me a break!
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
Wow, I'm floored. First of all like KJ and Noneill pointed out what MAW provided was crap and not usable. A playhouse not accessible to the recipient is of no use and a barn is not a play house. Let us not forget that this is not MAW's money they are spending but it's the money of charitable contributors who donate the money in order to ease the suffering of dying CHILDREN by making their wishes come true. Obviously Make A Wish failed miserably in both easing this child's torment and being a good steward of the donor's money. Charitable organizations don't walk on water and it is up to the donors and the public at large since these charities receive favorable tax treatment to hold these outfits accountable.

That's an aside in my book though. I've never had to face the mortality of one of my children and I dearly hope that I never do and my children never do as well. I could no way imagine what that must be like but I can empathize even if in the slightest of degrees. What we have here is a grandmother facing her grandchild's death. Think about that for a second. A fellow human going through the worse of times, times unimaginable to most of us, times we would all curse with the last ounce of our soul. That's who this OP is. So what does this OP get? Human kindness, understanding, sympathy or for goodness sake even the slightest benefit of the doubt? Yeah from a couple of people but from the majority of the commentators HELL NO. Read through these comments. You got condescension, marginalization, silly accusations of NIC switching and vulgar accusations of selfishness and ingratitude. It make me want to throw up. Ya know when you guys toss stones at people for not getting free KFC chicken I don't agree but ya know it's only chicken and really bad chicken at that. This isn't chicken we're talking about on this one. This is a little girl who's going to die well before her time and the family that's going to grieve that little girl. I just fail to see any reason not to offer this OP a little humanity, basic kindness and understanding. In my opinion that's really not asking that much. Trust me there's plenty of raw meat to tear into on this site to feed upon that y'all can leave this one alone. Eh, who am I kidding that would be the descent thing to do. Aint happening.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
Half of your post EXACTLY addresses the reasons why the OP should never have posted this in the first place.

Selfish? Yes, there are other children involved here..and many more to come. Ungrateful? Are you kidding me? She actually listed the things she DIDN'T get.

There are other dying children that benefit from Make A Wish, and it is NOT OK to diss Make A Wish for a "crap gift" because of the potential of hurting their funding.

And BTW, I HATE the term "crap gift"...its downright condescending and as far as I'm concerned, there is no such thing as a "crap gift" in a situation like this, there are just ungrateful recipients.

If they want to hold Make A Wish accountable to the taxpayers and donors, there are far better ways to do it than sniping at them from an anonymous position on a complaint site. That's not going to do anything but hurt FUTURE families that may very well be grateful and happy with what they get.

According to their website, Make a Wish grants a wish every 40 minutes...that's a lot of children and it takes a lot of money, donated items and volunteer effort.

Say what you will, but Make A Wish TRIED with this family.. And for all their trouble, look what they got.

And while you think that the people on this web site have been harsh on the OP, I can't think of a single person here that wouldn't be moved and touched by those children. However, that's no reason to stand behind them and hide from the real issue here..ingratitude.
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
""...electricity, an arcade, TV, DVD player, fully furnished..." Give me a break!"

An out of context quote to say the least. The full quote is, "But on their own website, they have pictures of beautiful playhouses. One has pink walls inside with a mock fireplace, and furniture..One is made to look like a bus, but has electricity, an arcade, TV, DVD player, fully furnished". The OP was NOT asking for those things but merely pointing out the disparity of what has been given in the past to other recipients and what this OP received. Your 'give me a break' should be directed to those who actually received the described play house and not the OP who didn't receive it nor asked for it. Quoting out of context to besmirch this OP is disingenuous at best and only proves my point. That was a cheap and manipulative argumentative tactic that served no purpose other than to demean. Well all I can say to that is, 'Give me a break'.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
"The OP was NOT asking for those things but merely pointing out the disparity of what has been given in the past to other recipients and what this OP received."

Was the way you worded it..

"She actually listed the things she DIDN'T get."

Was the way that I worded it.

They mean exactly the same thing. The quote was IN context; she was complaining about what they DIDN'T get.

Stop nitpicking, we're saying the same thing, the only difference being that you think its appropriate, and I never will.
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
I commend sad mamma for taking care of these children. I wonder how many other people would put aside their own lives for these children? I agree that until you are walking in someone shoes in this situation, it is unfair to judge. It doesn't even matter who is right or wrong. What matters is that sad mamma was trying to provide something nice for the little girl. It didn't happen. I don't think she is being ungrateful or demanding. She's just trying to express her frustration over a situation that should have never happened in the first place. That's what this site is about. It doesn't matter if it's a charity or fast food joint.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
We don't even know what happened. We've only heard 1/2 of the story...and frankly, since its been so completely negative from that side I would love to hear what Make a Wish could add that might clarify why this client feels the way she does. That's as nicely as I can put it.
i_am_canadian on 07/21/2009:
Absolutely right, Boki.
Eloise on 07/21/2009:
'sad mamma was trying to provide something nice for the little girl'
'provide' means to give from your own hands. She didn't provide it she just complained about it.
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
Eloise, I'm really tired of people analyzing everything someone says and turning it around to fit whatever box they want it to fit into.

That being said, let me rephrase it for you. She is probably stretched to the end of her financial means taking care of three disabled children. She tried to obtain something for the child to make, what will probably be her last years, more enjoyable. Is that better?
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
"we don't know what happened. we've only heard half the story."

if we don't know what happened and we haven't heard the whole story, then we don't have a right to judge. end of story.

i_am_canadian on 07/21/2009:
Any projects or undertakings by this group would most assuredly be completed with volunteer labour, meaning kind hearted everday people whose construction skills might not be the greatest. Make-A-Wish is not going to hire a master carpenter or skilled craftsmen to do it.
And I would certainly like to hear the other half of this story from the perpsective of Make-A-Wish. I didn't even see anything is this so-called review which said 'Thank you' or 'Although we appreciated the donation......'
I don't want or expect photographic proof of this apparently poor workmanship, but let Sad_Mama come back and further clarify anything that may be have been misconstrued. Until then, I'm sticking with what I said and there will be no apology. And this has gone far beyond a simple playhouse for a terminally ill child.
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
"Any projects or undertakings by this group would most assuredly be completed with volunteer labour, meaning kind hearted everday people whose construction skills might not be the greatest. Make-A-Wish is not going to hire a master carpenter or skilled craftsmen to do it."

-- Irrelevant, the main issues wasn't sloppy craftsmanship but rather it was substituting the asked for 'play house' with a barn not meant for children and by no means suitable for a special needs dwarf child that was the root issue. Classic argument tactic of framing the discussion.

"I didn't even see anything is this so-called review which said 'Thank you' or 'Although we appreciated the donation......"

-- WRONG, Perhaps next time try reading the review before commenting. The OP stated in the review, "We said no thank you".

"I don't want or expect photographic proof of this apparently poor workmanship, but let Sad_Mama come back and further clarify anything that may be have been misconstrued."

-- Again, irrelevant to the central point but nice frame job. So nice of you not to require photographic evidence and as far clarifying the OP has done that and then some.


"I'm sticking with what I said and there will be no apology."

-- Color me surprised.

"And this has gone far beyond a simple playhouse for a terminally ill child. "

-- Indeed it has. And ya know it shouldn't have because the WISH was for a 'simple playhouse' made by a terminally ill child. The terminally ill child should be the point of all this but too bad that fact got lost with MAW and some of the commentators on here. Really sad indeed.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
Since we're only hearing one side of the story, a simple playhouse might be exactly what she got.

Have you even looked at the playhouses on the Make A Wish website? I have...there is exactly ONE that came with the the dvd, tv and an arcade, yet that is the one that the OP brings up to compare to her child's.. If all she wanted was a simple playhouse...why does she bring up other people's MAW playhouses that have electricity, landscaping and chandeliers? What's wrong with this picture?
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
What difference does it make Boki? Why go to any length to smear this OP? Again, show me where the OP ever asked for a playhouse with dvd,tv, arcade, electricity, landscaping and chandeliers? She didn't.

Those playhouses pictured on Make A Wish are indeed relevant to the OP's review. Because of those pictures expectations were created. Rightly or wrongly there was an expectation brought about by MAW that the playhouse might be something just a little bit better than an industrial barn not suitable for children and certainly not suitable for special needs children. Indeed I'd go along with the notion that those pictures on the MAW web site are not there for the benefit of the terminally ill children and that indeed those lovely pics are there to garner support and money but I guess in this case those pictures had the unfortunate side effect of falsely inflating a terminal little girl's expectations. Oh well sucks to be her right?
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
Yet by the same token it could be said, "why go to any length to smear MAW"? Ever think of that? Because that is exactly what is being done here.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
And not only that, but MAW has plenty of press and kudos to back it up...it does good work.

Can't say the same about the OP. We know nothing about her, including whether her story is true or not or what branch of MAW she's talking about or even where in the world they are or what the playhouse looks like or ANYTHING.

Makes me wonder why you would want to take her story at face value when it could potentially harm a good organization and there is nothing factual there to warrant doing so...
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
Does anyone even care that this child is on deaths door and all she wanted was a stupid playhouse as her final wish for this world. This one last material item to make her spirits journey to eternal rest more comfortable? I am absolutely floored that after reading the comments here that someone would treat a dying child like this. I am sickened and heartbroken.

Would you rather this child have a crap play house that she couldn't spend her final days playing in or a playhouse that she can enjoy? Isn't that what matters here? That this kid wanted something and was only given a half a!@ed attempt? It's not like she asked for the ocean, she just wanted a playhouse. And there is nothing wrong with that.

The playhouses advertised are advertised as having these things, and this person rightfully expected to get them. Why should they spend their money, which I assume is already being spent on medical bills and medications, to provide her with the things that were clearly advertised as being a part of the house? Don't you think that's stupid? I sure as heck do.

It wasn't until I read the rest of this posters complaints that I realized that this was in no way a selfish smear campaign against MAW, it was a sad grandma wanting to provide her DYING GRANDCHILD with a playhouse she could enjoy, a playhouse that MAW told her they would give her. All they gave them was an empty shed. Who the he!! gives an empty shed when they have all those pretty houses advertised. And why bother even advertising those fully loaded happy houses if you aren't going to give them.

How many other kids did MAW disappoint like this?

I'm just floored. Disgusted and floored that you guys are behaving like this.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
How many other kids did MAW disappoint like this? We don't even know if this is true or not...why would you take the side of a nameless, faceless poster on an anonymous website that is TRASHING a charity that does good work?
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
And those "pretty houses" ARE empty shells..that's exactly what a playhouse is! Playhouses don't come with tvs and vcrs and chandaliers..not where I live anyway.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
In fact, I'm a little bit appalled at some people who are willing to slap MAW around when they don't have a SHRED of proof that any of this is true. Disgusted and floored, indeed.
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
Because I don't think that anyone would come on here and lie about a dying child. Maybe I'm naive, maybe I'm believing this because I'd hate to think that someone would stoop this low, but really, this isn't the first time someone has come on here to complain about how MAW had disappointed their child.

I know that as a mom, if one of my children were affected like this, that the last thing I'd want is for them to be disappointed. And it breaks my heart that nobody is giving this person the benefit of the doubt.

I read no clear deception or intent to defraud. The original post was void of details until the original poster responded and provided us with more. And it read like a very upset and heartbroken woman trying to give her granddaughter one last thing to make her happy.

That's all.
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
I'm not smearing MAW but let me tell ya if comes down to taking the side of a terminally ill child over a national charitable organization then I'll take the child's side every time.

Okay, so here we go again in these comments for us who take the side of the OP and it's been like this for years. When at first rational argument doesn't work for the naysayers then the argument get's re-framed to minute details, lawyer like word analysis and pure speculation. Then we get the we need more details, pictures and it wouldn't surprise me if somebody didn't demand an affidavit. When that loses traction then the ole "we're only getting one side of the story" card gets played. Like somehow on every other review we get both sides but in this rare case we're only getting one side.. Right, eh? And when that doesn't work then usually that's when personal attacks and name calling starts. Attack the messenger with charges of being a contrarian or the ever dreaded 'Troll' tag.

My experience and intuition tells me that the salient points of this review are true and that being the case then YES I think MAW dropped the ball on this one.

I respect you and your opinion Boki. Very much so but on this one I simply can't agree with your position.
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
So it's even better to slap a dying child in the face? What reason does this person have to lie about this? Credible reason. Exactly who benefits from someone writing a crap review about a make up dying child and how MAW disappointed them? Nobody.

Would you expect undeniable proof on a complaint about Lowe's selling someone a faulty dishwasher or McDonald's giving out used syringes with happy meals? Both of those companies give to charitable organizations. Ronald McDonald House and Habitat for Humanity. Don't see anyone making a stink about what good those businesses do for the community when we read complaints about washing machines delivered broken or ice cold fries and a drive-through slower than molasses.
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
Absolutely agree with you Crabs. If this isn't true why hasn't MAW made a statement to admin to have this review pulled? I assume they have people that work for them that look for things just like this from crazy people trying to tarnish their reputation.

I believe every single post I read as 100% truth unless it is an obvious fake, and we all know what I mean by obvious fake.
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
Lordy, this thread is still rolling along...

Make a Wish does a thousand times more good than not. For the one time they dropped the ball they have made thousands more people happy. Make a Wish will drop the ball again with someone else, that's life. Need to thank them for that 1,000's of times they nailed it and did a good job.

~JMHO~
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
The place to beef about this would be the local news or newspaper not an anonymous consumer gripesight. I mean what can we do here, give MAW a big fat (NH)?
We are on the outside looking in.
My heart goes out to all concerned but this is not the place (in my opinion).
GB....
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
If you think that people wouldn't come online and diss a charity for dying children..for no other reason than to start CRAP..then you are living in a different world than I am.

That said, even IF this poster firmly believes in what she's saying..it doesn't mean that the reality of the situation resembles the one that she's telling us about.

Even IF every word she said is true, I find it most inglorious of her to belittle a charitable organization that was trying to help her and her little girl. The end.

I'm coming at this from a position of working with one charity or another most of my life, and what people who DO volunteer and work with charity are trying to accomplish. I'm not going to stand them up against a wall and shake my finger at them if they swung and missed...

Me too Crabs, I'll respect you in the morning..and I love it when we argue. :)

BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
Said like a prince, zz..you're absolutely right.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
super, BA.
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
I just don't think it's fair that people assume that this person is a liar who just wants to start crap. What proof do you have that this person is a liar? Show me one line, one shred of evidence that this a shill review and I will gladly log off and eat my humble pie.

Until you can prove to me without one shadow of a doubt that this is a lie, and everything this poster is saying is a bunch of bull intended to smear and defraud a charitable organization I will stick to my opinion.

Slimjim on 07/21/2009:
The poster comes off here as ungrateful, yet I don't necessarily believe she is, but more disappointed. It sounds though that this house could be made to meet the poster's expectations with only a little bit of help, and that's where the focus of her attention should go now. You've got the bones, now make it the playhouse she wanted from here. It is a little eye raising to knock Make-a Wish for the gift. They do good work and tried to make something special happen here. There was an effort they seem to be getting no credit from the poster for.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
I'm not even assuming she's a liar. You've grabbed that and hung on when in reality I'm saying that it doesn't matter whether she's lying, its her perception that is faulty, or its the absolute truth.

Any way you look at it, MAW was trying to do a good thing for her family and they're getting kicked around because of it...that's all.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
Nicely put, Slim.
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
And as far as volunteering goes, I've been faithfully volunteering for the past 10 years without fail. I bake Christmas Cookies for our vets at the veteran hospital every year, I volunteer for the PTA, I donate money every year to Shriner's Hospital and St. Judes. I send out care packages every month to our troops overseas. I know just how much volunteering means and just how much charity is appreciated. It does not mean that I'm going to waggle my finger and shame someone for not being satisfied with my gift. And it will not deter me from volunteering in the future.
Slimjim on 07/21/2009:
Crabs a question. What did your intuition sense about four years ago when our own "investigative reporter" had his "accident"? Did you also see salient points of that review true, or maybe.. that fish wasn't so moist after all??
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
I see no deception on the OP's part but I do see above average expectations from her.
It's the "dam-ed if you do and dam-ed if you don't" syndrome to me.
Sad all around and quite depressing to me.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
Princi - do you have an address or website for the troop packages? I need that, if you do.
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
Slim, I must commend you on reconstucting that matter if for nothing else to lighten this thread up. One option that we all failed to explore was that may be the said victim just eats like a slob and that Micky D's was not at fault period?
*case dismissed*
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
Sure do. I send through a place called soldiers angels and I also send them through the local base as well. If you contact the local base you can get a hold of the ombudsman who will give you contact information for units that are deployed and what their needs are. The VFW and the American Legion is also a wealth of information for people wanting to send care packages overseas.
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
Absolutely Princi. Unless I have solid reason to believe the OP is lying I believe them because if I didn't then what would be the purpose of even commenting. I've been called out before for my pollyannaish view of humanity in that I believe almost all people are basically good. I've been called loony because I don't lock my car doors or when I lived alone even my house door but eh I'd rather live life that way... Positively, optimistically and hopeful. Life is more enjoyable that way and goodness knows I do enjoy life.
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
Sure do. I send through a place called soldiers angels and I also send them through the local base as well. If you contact the local base you can get a hold of the ombudsman who will give you contact information for units that are deployed and what their needs are. The VFW and the American Legion is also a wealth of information for people wanting to send care packages overseas.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
Thank you thank you! The only info I had previously found online was organizations that wanted money to assemble their own packages..but I want to do the shopping myself.

Good on you, Princi, for what you do for others. Anything I've said to you in this thread was in the spirit of a good old fashioned argument and not personal, I hope you know. And to anyone else I've offended, get over it, I like you anyway...you're just going to have to live with it.
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
I live the same way. Yea bad stuff happens but seriously, if you walk through life with blinders on it numbs you to all of the beauty that surrounds you every day. I like to think that everyone has a shred of good in them, and I really try to live by the laws of Karma. If I declare this person a liar and then find out it's true, I'd hate to see what the threefold laws will have in store for me at that point.
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
Boki, you never offended me, arguing is healthy. If we got along all the time I'd get very bored.

Most often than not these guys and gals want sweets, chewing gum, nuts, and socks and underwear. I've even got requests for deodorant and bath soap bars. Boot laces are another thing they always need. They are very hard to come by.

We have friends in the navy who still e-mail me on deployment to ask for cookies and brownies. I kind of like to think I'm doing my part, what little it is to bring a smile to someones face when they need it the most.

Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
how does anyone chalk up any child's dying wish to "that's life" if the charity gives them crap they can't even use? unbelievable. do you people even think about what you're saying before you post comments so cold and callus? what if this were your granddaughter? would you just think ah well, that's life? doubtful.

sad mama, I agree with zzrokk, you shouldn't have posted here. doubt you knew your very character would be judged and "we the jury" would determine you are nothing more than an ungrateful, selfish woman with nothing more to do with your life then to smear the good name of make-a-wish. that is, unless you can prove beyone a reasonable doubt that your story is in fact truth and nothing but the truth.

despicable and I for one am sorry you have had to read such rubbish.
Slimjim on 07/21/2009:
ZZ, I never failed to explore that option. It was always my theory from the start.
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
KJ if they demand proof from this person to ensure that their story is credible, then they should demand it from everyone.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
I'm going to look for a list of stuff to send, I've seen one before, but I really wanted to throw in a few kick butt dvd's, since movies are a passion with me. Thanks for the hints, Princi!

KJ, sweet sentiments, but I'm kind of over it. I had my say, and I stand by it..if that doesn't work for you, we'll get through it.
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
................?! James you are turning this into an "I care more than you" debate and that solves nothing.
Plug in that brain of yours before texting!!!
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
Boki I forgot to mention that you should also include some baby wipes, tampons, and maxi pads for the ladies. They are always out of things like that over there.
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
not so zzrokk, but you're entitled to your opinion as am I. no one has the right to diminish the disappointment this little girl is going through just because make-a-wish does good for thousands of others. not hardly.

bokibean, that's why I like what you have to say around here. even if I don't always agree you at least put thought into your comments.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
I knew about the baby wipes but the tampons are a good idea! I love picking bath products too..I want to get some stuff specifically for our female soldiers.
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
I've been doing this so long I can write you a list in my sleep! :) Let me know if you run into any problems, I've got contacts who can help me if you need it.
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
Nothing too scented though, the wind travels over there. Most places request unscented products because of the risk a floral odor could have in the types of settings they are in. The baby wipes are always a big help though because of the heat and all that. I won't go into detail.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
KJ, we may not always agree, but the posters who write in have a right to see both opinions..its a good thing.

Believe me, if I could go to this OP's house with a bucket of pink paint, two flower boxes and a dollhouse, I'd start the car now...

Princi - thanks! Its something I've put off for an embarrassingly long time...I feel motivated now!
Slimjim on 07/21/2009:
Best answer zz. Really James, nice way to TRY and spin it on anyone who dares have a different opinion.
It's not life and it's not unusable. As I said, (evidently without thought) it clearly can be easily converted into an accessible and desirable play house for the little girl.
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
Wah@unscented! But I get the rationale. Darnit.
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
Yea I was upset about it too! But anything to protect them. :)

Although I'm sure they'd love some warm vanilla sugar lotion and clean cotton body spray!

If you leave your return address, you will sometimes get thank you notes and even full letters in return for the things you send. I swear I get teared up anytime I read one. One time I got a beautiful thank you card and some flowers from a wife of a soldier who thanked me for sending them a package. It was the sweetest thing ever!

OOOO and if you know any teachers, have the kids throw in some drawings, they totally love that! :) My sons class draws them cards and pictures and an entire unit wrote a nice thank you note for the whole second grade class and signed it for them! The teacher made photocopies for everyone and framed the original to hang in the classroom. Talk about special right?
BokiBean on 07/21/2009:
I'm on the soldiers' angels website right now. Just a ton of ideas here looking at their gift packs.

Lots of snack ideas, but frankly, I might order a couple of snack packs through them at first cause I think they can get more for their buck than I can for mine.

$26 apiece and a list of goodies in there as long as my arm. I can't even do that well at WalMart.
i_am_canadian on 07/21/2009:
KJ Make no mistake, I do care deeply about that dying child and I'm angry with myself for letting the topic stray away from her. I just got so riled up over what was originally said, but I realize that's not helping and it's not even a fraction of the whole picture. Anger isn't going to bring her final wish any closer to reality and won't bring her joy in her last days like she deserves.
Principissa on 07/21/2009:
It's a good site. And it's worth it. I'd rather have them get what they need than get a bunch of crap they can't use or don't want. No offense intended. I'm so glad you're doing this, it's such a big help to them and it really makes them feel appreciated! :)
madconsumer on 07/21/2009:
I bet you would complain if she was able to go on that disney trip too.

after all, they upheld their end of the bargin.

what about all the other kids who had their wishes "not granted"? shall you go and tell them you got yours, but dis-liked it. sounds like you are un-gratful.
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
zzrokk/slimjim, my point was, rather than keeping the focus on this particular child, a comment was made that we should be thankful for all the thousands of others who didn't get the shaft by Make A Wish. there was no need for a comment like that and last I checked I'm equally entitled to my opinion as you are.

sad mama doesn't need to come here and read "that's life" when its HER grandchild we're talking about. again, my opinion.

and zzrokk, next time you feel the need to shoot me a nasty gram, post it out here for all to see would ya? and speaking of that, why would addy lock up this thread? other than a few off topic conversations, this is one of the most intellectual conversations I've read on this site. sure beats the usual drivel. so how 'bout you get off your high horse [or mule, or whatever you call it in denver] and allow others to disagree with your opinion without being an a-- about it. pot, meet kettle.
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
Here you go James and the only reason that I "IM'd" you was to not let my great takes hijack this thread and lose focus of what the post is about.

To KingJames on 07/21/2009
Neither of us were there James, and yes my heart goes out to the little girl as much as anyone here so you need to get off of your high horse, mule or whatever you drugstore cowboys ride on down there.
I hope addy locks that post up!!!!

Is that better, big guy?
Anonymous on 07/21/2009:
Too funny Zz! You dropped the hammer on the king.
Nohandle on 07/21/2009:
I composed a response yesterday but thought better of it and deleted it. All I will say OP is you had a Disney Trip denied because of emergency surgery on your part and secondly handicapped equipment was denied because of your child's physical condition due to brittle bones. I don't think either falls on the organization's shoulders nor should blame be cast on them. I'm truly sorry the third wish didn't work out but it appears they did attempt to do the third best thing. That's all I've got to say on the subject.
Anonymous on 07/22/2009:
superbowel, stop hijacking reviews with your petty comments and get a new hobby would ya? this one's become a real yawner.
Eloise on 07/22/2009:
This child is not DYING. She has a painful and delibating disorder. If she is careful she can lead a fufilling life. Once again she is not dying!
i_am_canadian on 07/22/2009:
I'm really not that familiar with the condition, so I don't know what the prognosis is generally or the average life expectancy of a patient.
The Momma Bear with Cubs on 03/04/2011:
Oh brother, this sounds like a nightmare and prior to my child's illness, I would have been one of the people bashing her for "looking a gift horse" in the mouth. I must say we are doing a Make A Wish for my son and we are grateful that they are getting their wish. It is really something that has made getting through their treatments. Like Mady's grandparents, our child's wish is going to end up costing us upwards of 1200-1500 dollars out of our own pockets, luckily, despite having mounting medical bills we are able to put out the money needed to make our son think it's all from MAW. They do say that EVERYTHING is covered on trips including spending money, airfare, transportation to and from the airport at both ends, a bag per person checked, hotels and rental cars. What is really covered is a spending money per diem--right around $50 per day per person (that per diem must cover any souvenirs, meals--all three, any excursions/sightseeing things you do which most tours and such cost at least $50 per person), transportation to and from the airport, airfare, checked bag--one per person, and hotel.

Supposedly, there is supposed to be a party thrown to kick off the wish, I'm really worried about that now that I hear about this wishes party, not to mention that my child wished for a specific ride to the airport and I doubt that would happen, we have prepared him for the fact that it may not occur quite as he wished for.

We are really thankful that my child was chosen for their wish because we surely wouldn't be able to afford it with all we've gone through financially in the last 4 months, our child is at upwards of $100,000 in medical bills 4 months in. Yes we will come up with the 1200-1500 we need to make this happen--we have just decided that we will also consider that our MAW contribution and will exclude them from our donation list when all this is through in a few months from now.......we do have 3 other organizations that we still will include in our donation list, we haven't had to put out a dime to participate in those organizations and we've gotten to do TONS of stuff with our child.

I'm still worried that we are going to get to our destination and be stuck having to come up with more money to complete the wish.........oh the things we do for our kids!!

Please cut the grandparents some slack and thank your lucky stars that you do not have to watch someone you love suffer the horrible rounds of chemo, getting very sick, not eating for 4 days at a time, losing weight, hair falling out, mood swings, being poked and prodded mercilessly, draining your family savings that you worked so hard to attain, ruin your marriage or put it to the test, and so much more---you are the lucky one or maybe we are because we are able to be sympathetic to someone who is suffering.
pgh on 07/01/2011:
My 2 1/2 year old son was just rejected by Make a Wish. He has congenital heart disease and has endured 5 heart surgeries so far. He will require numerous open heart surgeries throughout his life. His last surgery did not go well he went into cardiac arrest twice, once on the table and the second in recovery as I tried to comfort him, his heart rate went to 230 bpm before they were able to stabilize him. He is now living without a pulmonary heart valve and will do so until he is old enough to find a suitable replacement. My son came as close to death as anyone. I cry just recalling that day. I wanted to cry when I read the rejection letter from Make a Wish stating he doesn't fit their criteria. I'm sure he wouldn't had he died. Make a Wish's criteria are all about making money not fullfilling wishes for sick children. Don't give Make a Wish a dime. If you want to make a donation to make a difference in a sick child's life ride the elevator in your local children's hospital it won't take long to find an appreciative child and family.
another mama on 06/19/2012:
Dear folks who have posted here or have thoughts about this experience.

My three cents are this....

Make a Wish is dealing in a very precious commodity...the wish of each and every very sick child they bring into their fold. When a child is given a wish they are told, "Make A Wish...what is your most precious wish, what do you want more than anything -- think it over and your wish a good one." A child who is ill and is looking for a repreive has just been told, 'we are going to make something very special happen in your life....you deserve this" -- and this is in fact what they are actually told.

For the child, they don't know anything about legalities or realities, other than what they are contedinging with every day...which by the way is a bigger dose of reality than most of us have had to contend with. For that child, it's a wish, and how can you quantify what that means. But it means something really special....the most special thing that will probably ever happen to them in their life of illness.

So it's a gift of hope.

And when that hope is broken by poor communication and unmet expectations, frankly, that translates to a breaking of some hope in their heart and lives. And, and will translate into their giving up on some degree of hope and life. I know there are those who think otherwise, or who think the child has no right to hope or expect that their wish will come true.... but Make a Wish is telling the child that they will fulfill their wish and the child is excited and happy that their wish is going to come true...it gives them hope, and that's the reality...and that's why organizations like Make A Wish receive so much support.

Make A Wish would probably do well not to raise children's expectations so high -- or to convey to their donors that they can do more than they can or in some cases are willing to do. They have limits to what they can do and they should probably be more forthcoming about that. In other words....in the case of this wish, they probably would have done well not to show the child homes that they would not be providing...and, since an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure...they would probably have done well also to communicate more directly, lovingly, and clearly with the parents about how this wish was going to unfold. I can empathize with how this grandparent is feeling, and it is likely that a little extra care and communication would have gone a long way. I also understand that it's not so easy for Make a Wish...but chastising the parent when their child's heart is broken is kind of missing the point and a little cruel.

For those who think otherwise, I would only guess that you would feel that way only until the moment something similar happens to your own child. Let's see then, and I say this gently, when you have walked in these shoes what you're thinking.

To me, reading between the lines in this story means Make a Wish was careful to make sure that they covered their bases financially and legally, but not very careful to make sure that the playhouse would actually be usable by the child. If that is actually the case, then shame on those who speak ill of the caregivers..the same endeavor and cost, more carefully thought through and thoughtfully discussed and communicated could have made a world of difference for this child, instead of being a back yard of broken dreams.

And that's my three cents.
unknown on 10/24/2013:
Well it seems to me once approved for a wish, that Make A Wish picks and chooses what a wish should be although your ask to make 3 wishes, and then the graveling to them starts. You don't grant a wish and then make the wish participants' family feel like they are freeloaders.
Making people feel they are not part of the wish. Divide the households. They come on strong talking about how they do things in such a big way when they approve a wish. Then they come to your house and start assessing you and your family.
Then they start with the process of elimination.
Yes they grant wishes to a child but what is a wish if you experience it alone. That's why we have something called a family. We share each others life.
I get what sad mama was talking about because if a family has a wish granted its supposed to be whimsical and magical so I see nothing whimsical or magical about a tool shed. Its sad how you bloggers sit and asses everyone and everything that people say like they are not grateful. When actually they are.
Most wish's are granted to children with life threatening illnesses, as well as terminal ill children, and most are probably less fortunate, And don't you think for one minute if a family could afford all the magic in the world for their child they would provide it for them their selves. If everyone in the world could they probably would, but unfortunately that's not the way of the world.
Then there would be no MAW. people are too quick to sit and judge someone's situation.
Now to address the big way MAW come on. They announce your approval then they tell you how other family members can't attend. "They can't attend"? OMG Why? Because they are not approved to be part of the wish. "What"? "Part of the wish"? (Go it alone wish participant.) If your family can't partake in your event maybe a stranger will do.
Although your disabled and sick. No family needed. What a joke.
Just note not everyone want's a free ride people. Well do you think they can come to the announcement party. "BIG FAT NO! Why can't they come to the announcement party? They reside here they are family. They can pay for their own food! or activities! Geez.... its not like asking for 20 people just the disregarded ones. a couple that's 2 that's it.
Although some family's probably really can't afford to do that either, so let's divide their family.
MAW if your going to do something in a big way like you portray, then just do it.
Not tell a family! OH! by the way such and such a person in your household can't participate in the wish and so and so won't be part of the wish either. "In the meantime families are like why would they do that? If they Make A Wish with a child and their family is a blended family should they discard those members because its not traditional family that's prejudiced.
Not to mention that no outside family members are not allowed at the announcement party either. Well they can pay for their own food, activities they just want to see their family member experience this Exciting Whimsical Event. take place. Now that turns out to make people feel like crap. then the topper is like letting everyone in the household go on vacation and then telling other members your out you can't participate. hmmm..It is sad Very ,Very sad but you bloggers don't know or understand, when it's not you or your family being divided like that. I Cried for the people in this situation because I felt their anguish and I know others are heartbroken and literally left out. I had seen how a great wish depressed the whole family so I am paying for their disregarded family members to join them on their family's Wish Experience. because what's a wish without support and love from your family! Blended or not.
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Make a Wish is a wishless scam company
Posted by on
My 2 1/2 year old son was just rejected by Make a Wish. He has congenital heart disease and has endured 5 heart surgeries so far. He will require numerous open heart surgeries throughout his life. His last surgery did not go well, he went into cardiac arrest twice, once on the table and the second in recovery as I tried to comfort him, his heart rate went to 230 bpm as they brought the crash cart in and kicked us out of the room before they were able to stabilize him. He is now living without a pulmonary heart valve and will do so until he is old enough to find a suitable replacement. His favorite character is Mickey Mouse and I thought it would be nice to visit Disney World for his wish. He is the kindest and most caring 2 1/2 year old you will ever meet. His heart condition has made him far wiser than most adults. My son came as close to death as anyone can. I cry just recalling that day. I wanted to cry when I read the rejection letter from Make a Wish stating he doesn't fit their criteria. I'm sure he wouldn't had he died. Make a Wish's criteria are all about making money not fulfilling wishes for sick children. Don't give Make a Wish a dime. If you want to make a donation to make a difference in a sick child's life ride the elevator in your local children's hospital it won't take long to find an appreciative child and family.
     
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Mrs.Cole on 07/01/2011:
Because your child doesn't meet the criteria, you want to take away an end of life experience for a family? Is you child terminal? There are only so many families that can be helped.
Venice09 on 07/01/2011:
I understand why you feel that way. It does sound like your son is a good candidate for a wish. From the website:

Who is eligible?

A child with a life-threatening medical condition who has reached the age of 2½ and is under the age of 18 at the time of referral, is potentially eligible for a wish.

After a child is referred to the Make-A-Wish Foundation®, the Foundation will contact the child's treating physician to determine whether the child is medically eligible for a wish, based on the medical criteria established by the Make-A-Wish Foundation of America. In addition, a child cannot have received a wish from another wish-granting organization.

Was your son 2-1/2 years old at the time of the referral? Do you know if they contacted the treating physician? Is it possible your son is too ill to participate? Has he received a wish from another organization? Did they give you a specific reason for the rejection?

I can only imagine how crushing it was to be rejected, but maybe there was a valid reason. If it was a matter of age, maybe you can submit another request now that your son has met the age requirement.

Your son sounds like a fighter. I wish him the best.
jktshff1 on 07/01/2011:
Ben There on 07/01/2011:
As they mention on their site, they do speak with your physician. Maybe something in that conversation influenced their decision.

My cousin who was diagnosed with leukemia when she was 12 went to Hawaii because of donations to the Make a Wish foundation.
Sophia Marie on 07/01/2011:
I understand that you are upset that your son was not selected to receive his wish but the fact that his medical condition does not fit the Make-A-Wish foundation criteria does not mean they are running a scam. Please accept my best wishes for his future.
C Gracious on 06/22/2013:
MAW medical reviews are not perfect nor is the Foundation. I worked there for many years. Aside from what the physician in your case determined, MAW, like all NPOs, has decreasing donations so wishes are more scrutinized and budgeted because these are leaner times. The operation was once more grassroots and each chapter had more autonomy but that has changed and it is all becoming more corporate and controlled from headquarters in AZ. It is not the same organization that it was even 5 years ago. I wish you and your son the best.
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Make A Wish - Make A Nightmare
Posted by on
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA -- We just got back from my son’s Make A Wish trip to Disney World and it was a disaster. Due to poor planning he never got to fulfill his wish. He spent the majority his 5 days in Orlando at the villa hunting for lizards and blowing bubbles. On the few occasions we did manage to get him out - nobody honored his tee shirt or badge. The worse part was arriving back home and being stranded at the airport with no ride home. We could not just get a cab or call someone to come get us because my son is in a wheelchair. My child is so disappointed and I have never been so stressed out in my life. It was the most horrible distressing experience ever.

According to our local Make A Wish chapter in PA, they were sorry his trip was a disaster but explained that most of their wishes are successful and that their track record speaks for itself. This may sound good on paper if you are trying to gain donations or funds, but for my son, who was the one percent they didn't plan properly for, it was heartbreaking.

If your child has a wish and is in a wheelchair I recommend that you refine their wish within your geographical area so you do not get stranded.
     
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Slimjim on 06/30/2008:
That's a shame. Sounds like your recommendation carries validity.
Anonymous on 06/30/2008:
You don't explain why he spent 5 days stuck in the villa. Was it weather-related? As to his badge being ignored, write a letter to Disney World. I am sure that they will make good on his bad experience.
Anonymous on 06/30/2008:
Will Make A Wish re-book the trip? We are truly sorry it did not go well and wish your Son all of the best life has to offer him.
LCasey on 06/30/2008:
PassingBy ...
"You don't explain why he spent 5 days stuck in the villa. Was it weather-related?"...

Because I don't drive, Make A Wish said that a shuttle company with a wheelchair lift, called Mears, would transport my child to and from the Disney parks. Before we left, we were told that we could decide the time of day we wanted to go to, and return from, the park by just calling the Mears company. We could have one ride each day to and from a park. When we got to Florida we were informed that we had to get the shuttle bus at 10 am and could not call for our return ride until after 3:30 pm. If we did not like this arrangement, we could call a taxi at our own expense, which we would have done but my son is in a wheelchair that does not collapse and wears a body brace which does not make this option feasible. Between 11 am and 3 pm it is the hottest time of the day and even here in Pennsylvania, due to my son's medical conditions, we do not take him out during those hours. We were under the impression that we could take him either very early in the morning with a noon return, or in the evening when the sun wasn't as hot. We did try to follow their rigid schedule one day and my son just about collapsed. He was so slumped over and sick. Basically all we could do was sit in an air conditioned eatery buying sodas until it was time for our return ride. I think it is important that other parents whose children have complex medical conditions, or are in wheelchairs, be advised that just because the Make A Wish agency says something doesn't necessarily mean it will happen once you get to your destination. They can, and will, change the plans without taking your child's condition into consideration. If you do not drive a van with a lift yourself, you can be stranded just as we were. Even when we returned we were stranded at the airport and I had to call companies myself crying and begging for someone to send a vehicle with a lift for us, luckily, we got a school bus from out of state (Delaware) to come within three hours and take us home. I think that in the future, agencies like Make A Wish should be required to have someone who has medical training on staff to supervise these trips as they are dealing with very sick children.
LCasey on 06/30/2008:
"Will Make A Wish re-book the trip?"...

No, they will not (not that I would ever trust them with my child's health and mental being again as he is truly devastated). I was told today that while they are very sorry this happened, most of their wishes are successful. Our experience was not typical and their "record speaks for itself".

Laura Helton on 07/10/2013:
Could u email me laura.donaldhelton@yahoo.com My son has Leukemia and they did the same thing he couldn't ride the rides he had to wait in line. He had no fun and Make a Wish did nothing.
sarah on 02/21/2014:
You can email me as well we had a terrible experience with our Make A Wish for our son Quinn and they said the same thing to us!
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