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Mimi's Cafe - Server Spent His Time Trying to P/U My Wife
Dinner - Complaint
Review by landandsea08 on 2013-01-07
Rating: 
OCEANSIDE, CALIFORNIA -- I had one of the most vile experiences I have ever had at any restaurant. While visiting Mimi's Cafe (one of our favorite restaurants in the last 29 years). We had a waiter, #3012, Jeremy. We selected a booth that was private from most of the customers so that my wife would not be harassed by ogling men looking for a pickup. Our server, however, did the following:
1) Made special care to give us free muffins (fine, we wondered why)
2) He pretended to give good service. And he brought a young Hispanic man who served refills with the greasy humbleness of Uriah Heap from Great Expectations (Dickens novel). Nothing was too much, extra big lemons, an extra, extra amount of attention was given. Meanwhile, he too like Jeremy, wore the smile of a Cheshire cat who was gazing hungrily at my wife.
THEN: everything changed. His "utilitarian ethics" (that's what they call it when someone is guided in life by what serves or rewards them best) kicked in. Once the birthday card was opened at the table, all service ceased. The waiter couldn't be found. Every ice tea refill we needed, I had to get up and find the waiter.
Problem: Obviously Jeremy and his greasily smiling young waiter friend did not receive the same opportunity - the woman was not available, she was married and therefore this table was not worth the continued effort. So neither he nor his greasily smiling (insincere)waiter friend were available.
What I learned is that Jeremy did not only ruin our birthday celebration and cast an ugly pall over the special time; he was using company funds, your muffins, to make a hit on a woman while her husband was paying for the meal.
I called and spoke to the manager; but he seemed to lack a real understanding of why we were so angry. His words were mostly spot on, but his heart was not in it. He closed by asking if there was anything else we wanted; and I replied "no", thinking that at minimum he would insist on giving a meal coupon to replace the damaged memory of what was supposed to be a special event. This seemed so basic of a courtesy.
It has been nearly three months now and we have not returned to eat at any of your restaurants. It's sad, the end of a long series of good memories over many years, all covered over by the selfish, self-serving, open and unchecked lust of two young men who look at their positions of serving others as open season to try to connect with women - even while they are carefully escorted by other men. We found this experience to be vile and degrading. I know you folks can do better.
1) Made special care to give us free muffins (fine, we wondered why)
2) He pretended to give good service. And he brought a young Hispanic man who served refills with the greasy humbleness of Uriah Heap from Great Expectations (Dickens novel). Nothing was too much, extra big lemons, an extra, extra amount of attention was given. Meanwhile, he too like Jeremy, wore the smile of a Cheshire cat who was gazing hungrily at my wife.
THEN: everything changed. His "utilitarian ethics" (that's what they call it when someone is guided in life by what serves or rewards them best) kicked in. Once the birthday card was opened at the table, all service ceased. The waiter couldn't be found. Every ice tea refill we needed, I had to get up and find the waiter.
Problem: Obviously Jeremy and his greasily smiling young waiter friend did not receive the same opportunity - the woman was not available, she was married and therefore this table was not worth the continued effort. So neither he nor his greasily smiling (insincere)waiter friend were available.
What I learned is that Jeremy did not only ruin our birthday celebration and cast an ugly pall over the special time; he was using company funds, your muffins, to make a hit on a woman while her husband was paying for the meal.
I called and spoke to the manager; but he seemed to lack a real understanding of why we were so angry. His words were mostly spot on, but his heart was not in it. He closed by asking if there was anything else we wanted; and I replied "no", thinking that at minimum he would insist on giving a meal coupon to replace the damaged memory of what was supposed to be a special event. This seemed so basic of a courtesy.
It has been nearly three months now and we have not returned to eat at any of your restaurants. It's sad, the end of a long series of good memories over many years, all covered over by the selfish, self-serving, open and unchecked lust of two young men who look at their positions of serving others as open season to try to connect with women - even while they are carefully escorted by other men. We found this experience to be vile and degrading. I know you folks can do better.
Comments:
Posted by littleshorty on 2013-01-07:
I'm not exactly sure what happened here. Your waiter gave you guys free muffins and smiled, and you think that was his way of hitting on your wife? I don't see how you are owed any compensation here. You declined anything from the manager. Once you said "no," he was not obligated to offer you anything beyond that.
Posted by DebtorBasher on 2013-01-07:
They are working for tips. 'Many' female servers/waitress' does the same thing with male customers for tips. It's very rarely anything personal, and they probably never gave your wife another thought once you left the place.
Posted by clutzycook on 2013-01-08:
You said that you picked your spot so your wife wouldn't be stared at by men looking for a pick-up. Does this happen often?
Posted by shayen on 2013-01-08:
A woman accompanied by another man does not usually get hit on by other men, as they are naturally assuming she is taken. I'm pretty sure the employees were trying to do their jobs; after all, they are working for tips and providing attentive service will increase their chances of a good tip. No doubt, you and your wife were "just another couple of customers" and no one was looking to ogle or hit on anyone.
Posted by BigAl on 2013-01-08:
I'm not sure why you are upset. Is it because you perceived that the wait staff was lusting after your wife or that your unspoken "utilitarian" desire for a free meal was not fulfilled? On a side note, I am not the prettiest flower in the vase but on many occassions when eating out the wait staff (often very pretty women) smile at me and engage in pleasant conversation. I must have a different interpretation of "vile and degrading"
Posted by lexophiliac on 2013-01-08:
Many men would be pleased that their partner of at least 29 years was still getting appreciative looks.
Also - "A woman accompanied by another man does not usually get hit on by other men, as they are naturally assuming she is taken." - Happens to me all the time, accompanied or not.
Also - "A woman accompanied by another man does not usually get hit on by other men, as they are naturally assuming she is taken." - Happens to me all the time, accompanied or not.
Posted by littleshorty on 2013-01-08:
Lex, I get hit on even when I'm with my boyfriend too. He doesn't mind. He just smiles and says he agrees with them. Lol.
Posted by olie on 2013-01-09:
Uriah Heep is in "David Copperfield". Not in "Great Expectations".
Why are you worried about men ogling your wife? Many men with attractive wives like to show them off.
And plenty of waitresses ratchet up the charm when my husband's around. It's how they get tips.
Why are you worried about men ogling your wife? Many men with attractive wives like to show them off.
And plenty of waitresses ratchet up the charm when my husband's around. It's how they get tips.
Posted by Anna Molly on 2013-01-09:
Just. Interesting. Especially the last two comments.
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