Teriyaki House - The Worst Food Experience of My Life.

Review by JAKFK on 2013-01-31
Rating: StarEmpty StarEmpty StarEmpty StarEmpty Star
FARMINGTON, NM -- I thought about the title of my review for some time, and realized that the one I settled upon is a pretty drastic statement. Rest assured, it is not to be taken lightly.

A new restaurant opened in our town, called "Teriyaki House". It is built into the corner of a mini mall strip, formerly the space used for Little Caesars Pizza. My mouth was watering as I drove by the day before and saw the Grand Opening sign. One of my favorite dishes in the world in chicken fried rice, and this looked like it was right up my alley. I couldn't have been more wrong.

Perhaps my hunger clouded my judgment. I ignored the initial warning signs that spelled certain disaster. First, I walked through the front door, and a young gal about 20-22 years old looked at me. I said hello, and she responded hello. She continued to stand there and stare at me. There was no, "Hi! Welcome to the Teriyaki House and our grand opening! What can I get for you today?". Nothing. Not even the routine, "What would you like?". Nothing. Just a blank stare. A stare that tells me this young woman has never been taught the finer points of customer service. Heck, who am I kidding? Not even the basics.

Secondly, and not to sound racist or come across as stereotypical, but entering an ethnic restaurant, I was expecting to see some ethnicity. At least up front, where the customers can see you. Or at the very least, behind the grill stirring the wok. Nope. Not here. A single 20-something year old Caucasian with spiked hair was doing the cooking. That's it. That was the entire staff inside the store of their grand opening. A teeny bopper staring at you until you feel obligated to start the ordering process yourself, and a young white kid that looked like he was on last month's cover of an X-Games magazine. That was the entire staff in this small Teriyaki joint. Sweet Mary Mother of Joseph are you kidding me? Unfortunately, if you're waiting for the punch line, there isn't one. The only joke was the business itself.

Now far be it for me to hold any preconceived prejudices. If the kid can cook a mean plate of chicken fried rice, then I don't care what he looks like. Maybe he was an apprentice and an up & coming cook? Whatever glimmer of hope I was holding onto that this might not be as bad as it looks was instantly shattered with the first bite of food (a lot of audacity to call it that). My fellow members...with the utmost sincerity in my heart, I am telling you that in all my years of life on this Earth, that was the worst tasting pile of excrement that I have ever ate. Bar none. I don't mean to throw the "Worst Ever" label out there too hastily either. I sat in my office at work and thought about if for quite a while. I jogged my memory banks as far back as I could go, and I could not come up with a single instance where I tasted something so putrid. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

I will never eat at this establishment again. I already used the power of social media and cellphones by voicing my displeasure, and figured I'd throw a review on here as well. I am the eternal optimist. Always trying to find the silver lining to every cloud. I searched and searched, but could not come up with one for this atrocious excuse for cuisine.
Comments:4 Replies - Latest reply on 2013-02-02
Posted by Slimjim on 2013-01-31:
It may be advantageous to update your review and indicate the location of this restaurant. Without it, your review could be about anyplace with this generic name.
Posted by Kenneth on 2013-01-31:
Wow! Pretty hard to screw up fried rice. I feel your pain, it's a favorite of mine too. Where is this palce? I'd liketo make sure I never stumble into it by accident.
Posted by Johanna on 2013-01-31:
I second that wow. Even I can cook a decent fried rice; and they don't call me Clutzycook for nothing. :)
Posted by JAKFK on 2013-02-02:
Thank you Slimjim. I added the city/location of the offending restaurant to my review. I rewarded your helpful advice by clicking on the button specifying such.

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