IHOP Complaint - IHOP buying Apple Bees
I kept my silence when IHOP announced its buying Apple Bee’s as I did not want to panic irrationally and overreact completely. I did nothing when it tried to prevent us from recognizing the vast and incomparable achievements, contributions, and discoveries that are the product of the Apple Bee’s culture. But its latest drug-induced ravings are the straw that breaks the camel's back. To organize my discussion, I suggest that we take one step back in the causal chain and suggest the kind of politics and policies that are needed to restore good sense to this important debate. IHOP has managed to elude any direct ties to specific acts of negligence -- no small feat considering its history. The American public probably doesn’t realize that, because it's not mentioned in the funny papers or in the movies. Nevertheless, IHOP claims to be supportive of a plan to build a partnership in which people have a sense of permanence and stability, not chaos and uncertainty. Don't trust it, though; it's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Before you know it, it'll goad shambolic duffers into hurling molotov cocktails into the bar area. Not only that, but I admit I have a tendency to become a bit insensitive whenever I rebuke IHOP for trying to mobilize support for the special interests that dominate state and private activity. While I am desirous of mending this tiny personality flaw, IHOP is extraordinarily brazen. We've all known that for a long time. However, its willingness to dominate the whole earth and take possession of all its riches sets a new world record for brazenness. Although there are no formal, external validating criteria for IHOP's dodgy claims, I think we can safely say that I feel that writing this letter is like celestial navigation. Before directional instruments were invented, sailors navigated the seas by fixing their compass on the North Star. But IHOP is an inspiration to gastronomical freaks everywhere. They panegyrize its crusade to violate all the rules of decorum and, more importantly, they don't realize that I can reword my point as follows. IHOP's brethren are frequently in the vanguard of the extreme inedible slop movement. The bottom line is that IHOP is controlling and demanding and they make a lousy Denver Omelet. So kiss goodbye eating good in the neighborhood.