7-Eleven, Inc. Complaint - Fiancee Verbally Assaulted By Store Clerk

Posted by MissMarple on 2009-01-03:

Why would you ask your fiancee to stand by the counter? Was she holding your place in line? I just don't get this.

Posted by KenPopcorn on 2009-01-03:

He actually asked her if she needed a tissue? Oh the humanity!

Posted by JohnInSoCal on 2009-01-03:

This post can't be real. And even if it is real what the clerk was doing is called "flirting". You've heard of it, and surely you have done it. If she felt the behavior was not appropriate she should have walked to the area of the store you were in.

Posted by DebtorBasher on 2009-01-03:

Oh what's the big deal? All she had to say was "No Thanks"...and if she really wanted to, I'm sure she could have walked away from the counter and joined you...that is IF you gave her permission after your, "STAY" command.

I went into a little neighborhood store once, and I was the only customer there, the guy who owned the store was at the check out counter. When I went to check out the items I bought, he reached under the counter and pulled out a Playboy magazine and opened it up and attempted to show me some photos in there. He said, "we look at this togeeeether", I said, "No, we won't"...then when I gave him the money, he held onto my hand, which he didn't even have to touch. I left and didn't go back...problem solved. BTW, I wasn't even old enough to buy those kind of magazines.

Posted by MissMarple on 2009-01-03:

Alright, fess up. Who voted this helpful?

Posted by DebtorBasher on 2009-01-03:

See...I got my point across in my comment without even mentioning he was Arab, 'cause it doesn't matter...opps, I said it now, didn't I? LOL...does that make it anymore right or wrong? NO!

Posted by JohnInSoCal on 2009-01-03:

It was NOT me Miss M!!

Posted by DebtorBasher on 2009-01-03:

Not me!

Posted by DebtorBasher on 2009-01-03:

Hmmmmmm...it's those quiet ones you have to watch out for...right, Ken? LOL!

Posted by Contrary 2 Ordinary on 2009-01-03:

It was me! LMAO!

Posted by Contrary 2 Ordinary on 2009-01-03:

Basher, in your 'touching' little story about you and your Book Of The Month Club partner, would it be safe to assume that the dude would run a high risk of being booted from an AirTran flight?

PS, I typed 'mom' where month should be. Let's see if this works....

Posted by Principissa on 2009-01-03:

He offered her a tissue, someone call the cops!! We need to make a federal case over it.
When I read verbal assault, I don't think anything about tissues or wanting to party with others. I think of demeaning names and threats.

Posted by DebtorBasher on 2009-01-03:

Possibly!

Posted by Contrary 2 Ordinary on 2009-01-03:

I KNEW IT!! Ben There, seen that! lmao!

Posted by Ben There on 2009-01-03:

Huh?

Posted by Nohandle on 2009-01-03:

Now, now fellow members you're being rude. Hey AbcVish, your fiancee must be a real looker. I could stand at the counter with mucus running down my face and I don't think anyone would offer me a tissue. They would just direct me to the tissue row. Count your blessings my friend.

Posted by Starlord on 2009-01-03:

I liked the touch of throwing the time in in hte 24-hour format, to make people think you are a cop or something. Well, let me tell you something, I am sick of seeing people refer to 'verbal assault' in this site. there is n o such animal as verbal assault. Assault is the touching of a person to harass, injure, offend or intimidate. you cannot touch someone with words. the guy asked if your girl wsas crying and if she needed a tissue, that does not sound anything like what verbal assault might be to me, and I AM a former cop.

Posted by JohnInSoCal on 2009-01-03:

I am still wondering how this post got three helpful votes. This is rigged!

Posted by MissMarple on 2009-01-03:

SWEET, Starlord, best answer..

Posted by Contrary 2 Ordinary on 2009-01-03:

LOL @ NH!

Starlord, I don't believe the OP is trying to make anyone think he's a cop.
I think he's ex military. Probably got discharged for always leaving his weapon behind.

Posted by AbcVish on 2009-01-06:

Miss Marple --> I asked her to stand by the counter since we came in with a bottle of wine and I did not want the store people to think it was "their" wine. My fiancee said you get the items - I will stay here which is OK.

KenPopcorn --> There is no "humanity" about it ... it was rude! Unprovoked and disrespectful.

JohnInSoCal --> It is real. Well, you may consider it "flirting" and no ... I never did it ... I am from a very conservative background and new to this country. We call it outraging the modesty of a woman. Nobody "flirts" with customers and their fiancees/ wives.
Yes, later I called her to where I was standing ... and by the way this is the first time "we" encountered this. In my part of the world, he would have been jailed and properly dealt with by the cops.

DebtorBasher --> That's what she did and firmly told the joker to talk to me. He kept persisting. Well, later I called her to where I was standing. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Principissa --> Well, that's been your way of seeing things or at least thats what life has taught you. We are very critical of such gestures and we do consider it as verbal assault. That's why I took out the time to post it here. We do have great respect for our women.

NoHandle --> That's not the point.

Starlord --> I grew up using the 24-hr format and that's why it is up there. Funny, people make so much of words but not of what is meant to be the primary focus.
Verbal assault is very much an accepted terminology ... here is the link for your info ... http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/verbal_assault. The guy did ask her if she needed a tissue ... why would you do that when it is not required ... why? imagine someone asking your wife if she needed a tissue while she was going about her business? Here we were customers ... and the clerk had no business to even talk to her let alone offering her a tissue. I mean this is a "roguish" way of invading privacy.

Contrary 2 Ordinary --> No, I am not an ex-military ... I am a professional and no - it's not funny.

Posted by jktshff1 on 2009-01-06:

AbcVish, I would suggest you return to your home country or change your prudish attitude. Yes it was not very polite but, what the clerk did was just banter and you better get used to it (if she is a looker) or you are liable to wind up on the short end of the stick protecting her "honor".

Posted by JohnInSoCal on 2009-01-06:

AbcVish, no offense, but Toto, you aren't in "Kansas" anymore. You are in the US and while you may not like the way things are done here, flirting is a reality. Next time to avoid the issue leave your girl and the whine (I mean wine) in the car. Problem solved. By the way, welcome to the US. I hope you are able to adequately acclimate to life here without compromising your values too much or slamming or misinterpreting ours.

Posted by jktshff1 on 2009-01-06:

John, LOL BA you put it a little better than I did.

Posted by JohnInSoCal on 2009-01-06:

Thanks, Jkt. If we were to go to, as he put it "his part of the world" we would be expected to adjust and not ask questions. Here in the US he will have to adjust to the cultural differences. "Our" part of the world has given him the right to express and speak of his displeasure. AbcVish failed to point out that if he exercised his right to free speach in "his" country as he did here he would be the one jailed, or have his tongue cut out. Let him chew on that reality for a while.

Posted by JohnInSoCal on 2009-01-06:

How did this get four helpful votes???

Posted by AbcVish on 2009-01-07:

jktshff1 --> Thanks for the kind advice asking me to return home ... well, that was very intelligent! Also, I think labelling me as "prudish" was IMHO ... judgemental, though I respect your point of view. We live in a world of "relativity", so what may be right for you may not be so for me and vice-versa. Yes, at best ... I may need to "acclimatize" myself to things here. I am not here to question "local" ways of doing things or life.
Yes, she is a looker and I behaved "as Romans would do in Rome" ... walked out of the store!

JohnInSoCal --> Thank you for the welcome note and advice John :-) The intention of posting my experience was to alert other "likes" of me and not to for "mass consumption". Those of you "comfortable" or even "welcoming" of such demeanour might just take my post with a pinch of salt. And yes, I am no one to "misinterpret" anything in this country ... and I don't generalise things or ascribe anything to the general population.
Well, I am from a very very liberal country where we do exercise our freedom adequately ... to be frank ... even more freely than in here, where "people" think they have the right to complete and absolute freedom of expression - no probs with that back home - LOL :-)

Posted by jktshff1 on 2009-01-07:

Good reply abc, you do need to acclimatize yourself here. Ya did right by walking out if you did not like it. John has a better way of putting things that this ole Southern boy.

Posted by JohnInSoCal on 2009-01-07:

Thanks for your reply Abc. I won't beat this issue to death but I have to say that you have switched gears and you are contradicting yourself. If your country has the same equal freedom of expression, or even more so than here explain to me why would the clerk would have been jailed or been properly dealt with by the police for making a comment? That is not freedom. IMO that is what I consider a "police state". I am not saying that what the clerk said or did was appropriate. I was not there. If your country has the freedoms equal to or greater than what the US provides the police would not get involved unless a threat was made or physical violence was inferred.

Jkt, your comments were fine. :)

Posted by jktshff1 on 2009-01-07:

see, I told ya he can put it better than this oldtimer

Posted by AbcVish on 2009-01-08:

No you are not "beating" the issue, we are just discussing - it's ok. I would not agree with you on "switching gears". The police would have intervened in my country because people know that one cannot get away with anything involving WOMEN unless provoked - that's the law. The distinction between talking and flirting is clear.
Again, I wish to repeat that we live in a "relative" world - what may be considered "freedom" here may not be so elsewhere. For example, in Europe ... precisely Germany, nudity in public is OK (at least in some cities) ... here in US ... the police WILL intervene and at best you will get jailed = freedom? So, then as per your definition, US too is a "police state". We should learn to distinguish between talking and flirting in the right setting. You might agree that not all men stop with flirting and things do get worse. World over, in all societies, developed and under-developed women in particular are subject to atrocities. Of course, the percentages may vary.
In this case, the lady was not alone ... she was with me. Neither was she provocative by dress, speech or gestures. The person was an employee ... not one of general public and should behave responsibly with customers and not take advantage of "western" culture. This is no scenario for "flirting". Just for an example ... a fictious one ok? ... say a man takes his partner to a hospital or a museum or a bookstore and the same comments (nothing beyond) are passed ... is it ok? or are we talking about double standards?
You might agree that 7-eleven is no pub, where I would have brushed off the incident.
I grew up in Europe and would also like to quote an old adage ... "my freedom starts where yours ends". Here, there was an indecent invasion of privacy in the wrong setting.
Thank you.

Posted by sherdy on 2009-01-08:

Starlord, with respect, there actually is "verbal assault" listed on a form to report students for such as my school. If a kid tells a teacher to "f*** off," or something of the like, it's reported as such. I know in some larger companies, "verbal assault" is punishable by firing. What the OP is reporting as verbal assault is not verbal assault in the sense of the phrase as we use it. As the OP says, it's relative. :)

Posted by jktshff1 on 2009-01-08:

Interesting thought "indecent invasion of privacy". I could see that description in reference to remarks made. There is a fine line between joking and insulting. The problem is the definition of indecent. That is the difference. Cultures have different definitions and the point, I believe, is that the US is a country where different cultures and ideas can meld together and live as a single society without tramping on the rights of the individual beliefs. Separation of church and state would be an example of the government "forcing" the right to your beliefs, without infringing on someone else ie no state religion.
The problem is that some people, religions and cultures are unwilling to let others go their own way or even try to understand their side of the story.
Kinda like the white and black restrooms and waterfountains when I was growing up. Now we have a multiraced person (I know, I know, but he is) elected as president.
We have come a long way, for the most part for the good of all, but so had Rome before the fall.