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EHarmony is a fraudulent SCAM. They should be sued.
Posted by on
Rating: 1/51
Please warn all your friends NEVER to join eHarmony. If I could give them zero stars I would.

It is a dishonest company that cons their clientele into committing for three months to a year. Then after 2 weeks of sending people who live nearby, a vast majority of which are clearly not a match to you in any way, they begin to send only EMPTY profiles of people who live a 1000 miles away or absolute NON-matches. They give no way for the member to search their site, they choose your seven matches a day and only do so if you allow eHarmony to email you. These matches begin to repeat within a month. There is a "what if" category that allows you to search a dozen potential matches they say are outside your "match range". These are random people many up to 25 years younger or older, from around the country, most of who have empty or near empty profiles with a single photo, who later end up in your daily seven actual matches.

One of my daily seven matches I received from eHarmony was so clearly fraudulent they immediately began emailing me through the site, phishing me for my actual email address in broken speech.

I attempted to email eHarmony to cancel and was told to call. I called and the person was really rude and then told me there was nothing they could do, that I should email the address they would send me. I emailed that address and again heard nothing. Since I emailed however, I have stopped receiving any updates on their website, which is nice, but they kept a years membership fees for 5 weeks of HORRIFIC service.

I have since used their on-site messenger to attempt to receive help and still have received no reply. The site uses TV commercials to trick more people into their scam hoping no one ever reads reviews prior to signing up. If eHarmony simply said "we do not have any matches for you at this time" that would be honest. Instead they trap you for your entire period.

People sincerely want to find love and companionship and eHarmony preys upon this need. I offered to pay for the time I'd used and even offered to pay double their rate and was told there's nothing they can do, I had to pay for the entire year for my one month's completely ineffective service.

To refuse to refund and cancel a subscription after providing no service, after multiple requests and providing such a HORRIBLE completely fraudulent product is SHAMEFUL.

If there was a class action suite I would sign on. If there is a lawyer who would like to begin the process, I will sign the complaint today.

Please tell everyone you know to avoid eHarmony. Online dating can work. There are honest and effective online dating sites out there. The top two competitors of eHarmony are both genuinely good sites. I know because I've used them since my experience with eHarmony.

I sincerely hope others are more fortunate and learn of eHarmony's deception before signing up. Because eHarmony will steal your money and according to the dozens of other complaints I've since read, they will renew your contract and charge your credit card even after you've cancelled.

eHarmony is clearly the Enron of on-line dating.
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Still Sending Me Unsolicited Magazine Despite Saying They Would Stop
Posted by on
I never asked for a magazine subscription, nor knew they planned on sending me one. I contacted them several times in January and they finally said they would stop sending the unsolicited girlie magazine to me. Two months later, they are still sending it.


Copies of e-mails:

Dear Porn Purveyor,

In January you apologize for sending me unsolicited porn. Now, it is
March 22, 2009 and the Porn magazine is still being sent to me. I
just received another one in today's mail.


You better believe I am going to be discussing this sickening act of
yours on my television show. I have also filled out the appropriate
form with the USPS. See their instructions below:

Stopping receipt of unsolicited "obscene" mail

You may file PS Form 1500 at a local Post Office to prevent receipt
of unwanted obscene materials in the mail or to stop receipt of
"obscene" materials in the mail. The Post Office offers two programs
to help you protect yourself (and your eligible minor children).

Option 1: Application for Prohibitory Order (requires the
objectionable mailpiece)

Under the Pandering Advertisements Statute, 39 USC 3008, if you are
the addressee of an advertisement, and consider the matter (product
or service) that it offers for sale to be "erotically arousing or
sexually provocative," you can obtain a Prohibitory Order against the
mailer. You apply for the order by submitting the entire advertising
mailpiece (the original, NOT a photocopy) with a properly completed
application. Minor children under 19 years old and residing with you
may be included in the application.

o Provides a deterrent to continued mailings by a specific
mailer advertising a product or service you consider erotically
arousing or sexually provocative

o You are required to save all materials, including the
envelope and the entire mailpiece and then attach the entire opened
mailpiece to PS Form 1500

Phil Konstantin

> Dear Mr. Konstantin,
> Your email to eHarmony’s customer care department regarding the
> unwanted subscription to Maxim magazine you received was escalated
> to my office. We sincerely regret and apologize for any distress
> this situation may have caused you. As you requested, I will also
> follow up this email with a letter via postal mail expressing our
> regrets. We will send the letter to the billing address we have on
> file for you. If you’d prefer it go elsewhere, please let me know.
> During the eHarmony subscription process, we give members the
> option to select a magazine from the offered list or to opt out of
> this offer altogether. When a member does not opt out of the offer
> or select a specific magazine, our fulfillment vendor automatically
> sends a default publication. I completely understand that you took
> offense to the publication you received and will speak with the
> individuals who manage this program about its appropriateness as a
> default publication.
> Our records show that you have already cancelled this subscription.
> If there is any more assistance we can offer you regarding this
> matter, please let me know.
> Thank you for bringing this to our attention and we wish you all the best.
> Sincerely,
> April B.
> Office of the President
> eHarmony
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User Replies:
Anonymous on 03/23/2009:
well, according to the email you got back from e-harmony, it does state in their T&C that if you don't opt out and you don't select any magazines, that they will select one and send it to you, so you must have missed that part when you signed up with them.

Were you charged for this subscription? Did you pay it? You may have cancelled the subscription but you may keep getting the magazine until the subscription runs out?
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Applied charges to my credit card without my consent
Posted by on
I initially signed up for E-Harmony in August of 2010 as a 3 month "trial" membership and billed it to my credit card. It was under my understanding that this would be a one time flat rate and if I was interested, I could extend my membership. Needless to say, I was not impressed with their "matches" and discontinued visiting their web site. I have just recently found out that they have been charging my credit card quarterly without my consent. I immediately contacted E-Harmony and they told me that because that I did not cancel my membership, I was automatically charged their monthly fee.

I am disgusted with their non-professionalism and hope that I can prevent this from happening again.
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User Replies:
2inform on 03/13/2011:
A member must go into the account and stop the automatic renewal.
localgod on 03/13/2011:
This is SOP for these types of businesses, you must cancel before the end of the trial to forgo billing. To not do so authorizes regular billing, you really need to read the fine print on the agreement. Incidentally, when you gave them your credit card information, you authorized them to bill your credit card. That's not in the fine print, just a reality of life.
Anonymous on 03/13/2011:
Technically, if something was truly free, there wouldn't be a request for CC info, because companies would count on potential customers liking what they have to offer enough to pay once the trial period was over. But, if the terms and conditions clearly state that you will be charged if you don't cancel, and you didn't cancel, no body did anything without your consent. Whenever you enter in your bank or CC information, you should take the time to thoroughly understand what it is that you're signing up for.
unhappy999 on 03/13/2011:
I agree with the other posters. You have to be very careful when giving out your CC number. Also, people should be checking all their bills monthly to stop things like this right away.
MRM on 03/13/2011:
It is wise to use a service, such as Bank of America, that generates pseudo card numbers so that it'll only be used once.
trmn8r on 03/13/2011:
My guess is that the fine print mentions that your membership will be renewed unless you go in and cancel it, because many sites like this have that policy. Did you go back and look?
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The Matches on eHarmony
Posted by on
I signed up for the 3 month trial, after being really persuaded by the TV commercials. I have been on other dating sites (that were free) but wanted to find a serious relationship and it seemed like eHarmony would provide that. However I was very disappointed with the matches, they all looked so terrible. There is no way to specify body type as a criteria or attractiveness. On top of that you cannot hide or block your profile from desperate unattractive matches. So I took my photo down and just waited out the subscription. It's too much money to spend, getting the results I was getting. So if you do not like your matches you have to sit and wait until some new ones join eHarmony. If you do not find looks as a criteria then yes maybe you will be happy. But I still think physical attractiveness plays some role. I could not picture myself in an intimate relationship with the people the site were suggesting. I was disgusted. I then proposed that since men have a better time finding women in the natural world, since there is so many of us, that the only reason a guy would even sign up on a PAID site is that they failed in the natural world. But again that's my opinion. It just sucks for females, not enough men out there unfortunately, attractive ones anyway.
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User Replies:
Anonymous on 01/09/2010:
From what I know, EHarmony is a christian runned site. I guess they do not take in account for attractiveness, since its a christian site, they may not deem that a necessity for their site. Hey, they don't even let gays or lesbians match up. Also, they cannot control who signs up and what they look like. I mean youre on an internet dating site, so what do you expect? youre going to GET the desperate ones and the ones who may not looks like Eva Longloria.
Anonymous on 01/09/2010: have a good nose for this, care to comment? ;{)
Anonymous on 01/09/2010:
LOL Ken!
PepperElf on 01/09/2010:
I'll comment.

I'll just provide a link to what one man said he changed his eHarmony profile to cos he was sick of it. the new profile actually gave him more hits

the essays about himself are priceless.
2inform on 01/09/2010:
There is a dating website for those who place a higher priority on looks. CNN has an article about some getting kicked off the site.

If the OP meets the requirements, then maybe this other online dating service is for him.
PepperElf on 01/09/2010:
I think the OP was looking for a woman
Anonymous on 01/09/2010:
Id just like to know what he looked like.......could be the pot calling the kettle black? Or someone looking for someone way out of their ball park? I have a friend who is going on 30 and still doesn't have a girlfriend. He's a but on the heavy side, and not that attractive. He looks for woman who could be supermodels, anything else but that, they are "not his type". I tell him hes going to be single forever.
Anonymous on 01/09/2010:
It's unfair to assume the OP is unattractive because he/she isn't finding what attracts him/her. I have heard that the search criteria on EHarmony is very limited compared to say, or Yahoo personals. The thing that's good about Eharmony is that it is more expensive, so the people on there are more serious about finding someone. It's hard being single, educated, professional, and finding someone. I have a best friend who met and married a guy from the 'net and they are very happy together.
laklisa on 01/09/2010:
I have so many comments I want to make, but I am just going to keep my mouth shut on this one. LOL
DebtorBasher on 01/09/2010:
Yeah...too bad they don't have an 'Ugly block''re a sure winner for someone out there...
Ytropious on 01/09/2010:
They don't put attractiveness or body type as questions because I'm willing to bet most people would ask for a slim, attractive mate. Attractiveness is in the eyes of the beholder too. What you or eHarmony might find attractive is not what another person finds attractive. Case and point. If I needed a dating site to find love (I didn't I met my husband at work)I would have told eHarmony I didn't want someone who wasn't slim. My husband is a husky guy, and I would have passed over him if I had set "criteria". You don't know what love is until it hits. Having preset criteria on how someone should look that you love is setting yourself up to fail.

Oh also, that comment about men having it easier? Get real. Tell that to all the men that most women find "unattractive", the video gamers, the ones without a high paying job, and all the other things stereotypical women want in a man. If you ask me, women are too demanding of what they find "perfect". "Perfect" men do not exist, contrary to what hollywood would have you believe. Women expect to be approached, not do the approaching. For shy guys, they're screwed. If men are not naturally approaching you, did you ever stop and think maybe it's YOU? Maybe you're sending cold vibes or you really aren't attractive.
Anonymous on 01/09/2010:
"On top of that you cannot hide or block your profile from desperate unattractive matches."

That statement makes you extremely unattractive and one might say you are desperate for using this website to find a mate. Therefore you are a desperate unattractive match.

'nuff said.
Ben There on 01/09/2010:
If you have what it takes to pick up all the hotties, just go to a bar and pull the old fashioned way.
PepperElf on 01/09/2010:
well I did see the news discuss one board that will kick you off if you're not beautiful enough
I guess they vote on members or something.

don't remember who they were tho... and I'm too lazy to google it. =)
Anonymous on 01/09/2010:
It's all in the eye of the beholder. You might find someone to be god awful ugly, but someone else might find that same person to be the most beautiful creature in the world.
kdcrms06 on 10/11/2010:
eHarmony is not a christian site and matches on personlity because THAT IS WHAT IS IMPORATNT. looks fade.

and yes it is true that eHarmony doesn't allow gays on the site. They created a separate site for the LGBT community. HOWEVER, bisexuals are allowed to used both sites.
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Eharmony Matching Process
Posted by on
I wish that I had done a lot more google searching about Eharmony before I handed over my money and signed up for 3 months membership. I feel very stupid because all you have to do is type "Eharmony complaints" in any search database and you come up with tons of personal blogs about how disappointed people are with Eharmony. And, by the way, I was pretty hard pressed to find anyone PRAISING E-harmony, except of course the guy in their ads. I am now among those ranks. I paid them $110 for 3 months membership and for that they served me up "matches" from NY, NJ, PA (I'm not from any of those states and I also filled in their section about how far away I was willing to travel and if I wanted to meet someone from far away who would relocate and I said NO). The reason I feel so stupid is because, like most sucker games, this one seems so obvious AFTER I lost my money. You sign up and they use their 29 dimensions to find you matches from their existing database. But if none of those pan out, you have to wait until someone new signs up. And then YOU are one of the masses waiting for that new person to sift through their list of matches. When there aren't any matches for a while, they start with "flexible" matching. I guess that's where they started going to other states because there was no one left in my state for me. I noticed one section where they indicated that attractiveness was one of their 29 rating factors and I thought, how interesting, what are they doing, assigning numbers to people and then matching their idea of a 2 with other 2's and their idea of a 10 with other 10's. I sent an e-mail with the question but all I got back was the same quote that was on their website that prompted my question. Does anyone else out there feel like me where they'd like to decide for themselves if a person is physically attractive to them? I have no idea if they kept a mass of beautiful people or some incredibly ugly people from me, I have to wonder what number was I given? Please please please spend approximately the same amount of money (or less) on one of the other sites and get your money's worth because YOU will have control over whom you get to meet, not some corporation and their 29 dimensions. Honestly, if there's some guy out there who's a mean, impatient, non-romantic, sullen drunk, is he really going to HONESTLY appraise himself on the SELF-DIRECTED survey that they send you to determine what kind of person he is?. Boy am I dumb, please don't be like me, be smart and say no thanks to Eharmony.
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User Replies:
Sarah May on 05/12/2007:
I've heard from two people with personal experience with EHarmony. These people do not know each other and have never spoken to each other and yet their experience with them was the same: They are both apparently "unmatchable". Yeah, that's apparently what EHarmony told them; In so many words, "No one will ever love you, you total freak." So yeah, I don't know about the company first-hand, but I have not heard good things. I'm sorry you had such a crappy experience.
Skye on 05/12/2007:
Look into Craigslist. It's free and you can search any states you want to, for meeting people.

Slimjim on 05/12/2007:
Two business I never ventured in that I said I always would. Owning a Laundromat, where all you have to do is go and collect the money, and owning a dating service. Take money from people, give their info to other people, draw up some half- baked reasoning for the matches and don't even ask me about guarantees.
Anonymous on 05/12/2007:
I think you will have better luck meeting people at the grocery store then these dating services. Maybe you could even meet someone on here? Hey, who knows that is one of life’s little surprises it’s called a chance encounter. All you have to do is receptive.

Go no, get out there!!!
Starlord on 05/12/2007:

I have known several people who owned laundromats, and if you think that it is just go in and collect money from the machines, think again. You always have people purposely vandalizing the machines, you have to constantly be cleaning, as people are slime, you have machines damaged constantly from stupid people overloading the machines, you are always having to replqace the coin mechanisms because of people 'unlocking' them with sledge hammers to 'Help you collect your money.' No, thanks. No laundromat for me. I think I would prefer a nice quiet job on the DPS Bomb Squad.
F@ckedbothways on 08/09/2007:
You know its easier doing it on your own , though chatrooms, etc...I met my deased husband online and now my current husband. You just have to know how to do research on the people you chat with. You have to be smart about it.
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StarEmpty StarEmpty StarEmpty StarEmpty Star
Gentlemen and E-Harmony Prefer Blondes
Posted by on
Rating: 1/51
After 14 wonderful years, my wonderful husband died in my arms. Well two years after he died, someone suggested I try e-harmony. After filling the application I was rejected. So I decided to call up their headquarters and find out why. Come to find out my personality was fine but they wanted only blondes. The last time I heard, Discrimination is illegal. And because I have black hair and black eyes, I was told I was in the ugly category! I've seen their commercials and it's true, FOR BLONDES ONLY!!!! So I have one response. BOYCOTT!!!
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User Replies:
MRM on 05/29/2012:
This is how I felt when I was rejected by the escort service. I'm not too chatty on the phone. Its the money that counts.
ww48 on 05/29/2012:
This is my response to the person who asks where I get my information on. With all due respect I don't know if you are blond, but I watched the ads and yes, there are a lot of them, in magazines, and from the so-called customer service itself told me. I also looked up the reports from the BBB. So yes, I did my homework. They find a way to get money from people the token brunettes or minorities they show on TV.
MRM on 05/29/2012:
You don't need to go to eHarmony to find a date. You can find a date right here, on My3Cents! Wally, now is your chance!
Alain on 05/29/2012:
Go with your soul and you can't lose. Just my gut response to this.
MRM on 05/29/2012:
You can find a date on

No need to fill out any information. Just call them up to set up the appointment.
trmn8r on 05/29/2012:
Seeing blonds in adverts doesn't prove that they discriminate against non-blonds in their membership. You're looking for a date, and not a job in their ads, correct?

If the allegations of discrimination are true, I would expect several hundreds and likely thousands of complaints online about it.

An eHarmony representative actually told you that you are "in the ugly category because you have black hair and black eyes"? If you have a recording of that, perhaps you can sue them.
clutzycook on 05/29/2012:
Wasn't there a dating site that made fun of eHarmony's pickiness in their commercials?
ww48 on 06/10/2012:
Well I see no one from eHarmony had the guts to reply
trmn8r on 06/10/2012:
Very few companies surf here, read and post replies to complaints.
raven2010 on 06/10/2012:
Your review did not go to eHarmony and they most likely have no idea you posted here.

Here is an article the Washington post did on why eHarmony rejects people.

if you fit into any of these categories, try one of their affiliate services listed at the bottom of their homepage
trmn8r on 06/10/2012:
Yes Raven, good find. I can't help but agree with the reasons given, and I note that hair color isn't on the list.

That is the allegation - that eHarmony rejects applicants that aren't blonde. The OP feels so strongly that this is happening that they feel eHarmony should be boycotted.
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Feb. Free Communication is NOT free
Posted by on
BEWARE!! the free Feb. Communication is NOT free. You cannot email anyone unless you pay the membership. Typical eHarmony money scam. And this after I swore NEVER to go there again.
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Anonymous on 02/16/2011:
Yeah that is how they get you. But they do have a bunch of free dating sites.
madconsumer on 02/16/2011:
great review.

very helpful.
trmn8r on 02/16/2011:
From the website, it looks like what they give you is "guided communication" which is essntially sending answers to multiple choice questions and then some open ended questions. So it is not at all like sending your own message.

Remember, little about dating is free anyway, and the price goes up even more if you take it to another level.
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Not worth spending money on
Posted by on
Before signing up I just ran a few checks. On the first settings I had, there were only 25 potential candidates with 30 miles of me, and of these, 6 weren't even in the UK. And since when has China been within 30 miles of the UK?

I changed all the settings the other way around, changed the location by 100 miles - and still got the same list.

Try the test for yourself. This company simply does not have anything like the number of members the two key UK dating websites have.

Spend money with them at your own risk - I'm not going to.
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User Replies:
MRM on 07/02/2009:
I think what the poster is trying to convey... not worth spending money on her/him.
Anonymous on 07/02/2009:
declan o'squirrel, first and most important, hands down, that is the single best nic I have ever seen on any chat forum. simply awesome.

second, give m3c's a try, it's free and always very entertaining. and you never know, you might just meet that special someone that causes your heart to pitter patter at the mere mention of his or her name.
madconsumer on 07/02/2009:
I was given a free trial membership, and I found the same thing. either they were older than dirt, or not even near my location.

very helpful.
BokiBean on 07/02/2009:
Some guy just dodged a bullet.
Anonymous on 07/02/2009:
bokibean, I must say, you are good people in my book.
BokiBean on 07/02/2009:
And ditto right back at ya. Also, if nobody takes up our bet we'll have to share a "sody". ;)
MRM on 07/02/2009:
Ms. Bean I will call it a day. Goodnight, Ms Bean, and I hope you will have a nice beauty sleep 2nite!
BokiBean on 07/02/2009:
Night night, MRM. I'm going to stay up a bit, Survivor Man is on.. :)
madconsumer on 07/03/2009:
c2o you are da man!
Anonymous on 07/03/2009:
Thank you mad! I try real hard.
Declan O'Squirrel on 07/03/2009:
Well thanks King James. So often we consumers rush into things for the hell of it without checking things out, then get mad when we get ripped off. E-Harmony... who needs $110M to boost a dating website? IF it was that good, it would have worked through viral marketing. For any readers of this in the UK, go try That really is free, and the web pioneers behind it are just excellence, they've got the spirit of what the web is about.
ww48 on 05/29/2012:
If You think e-harmony is bad in the UK, it's worse in the United States!
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Eharmony Rip Off
Posted by on
WAVELAND, ARKANSAS -- I have tried this service twice now but it will be the last time. They only match me with people outside my age and distance request. When I contact them they say I need to change my profile or post better pictures to be matched with others. I want to be matched with someone who is what their profile says and who looks like their picture so I can only assume the men I'm looking at would appreciate the same. Why do you have to pretend to be someone else to get matched.

I'm sure there are men in Arkansas within 120 miles of me who are members of this site. Just show them to me.
Company Response 04/27/2009:
Thanks for your feedback.

Thanks for trying eHarmony. We’re sorry to hear that you didn’t have a satisfactory experience either time you tried. There is, in fact, a way to adjust your settings so that you don’t get any matches outside of the settings you’ve chosen, and it can be done by making a few clicks. We do always try to offer suggestions to our members in order to improve their experience, because we genuinely our members to find success.

We do a search for matches every day, and how many matches you receive depends on many factors – first and foremost, compatibility, then we take all of your personal settings into account.

I personally would be happy to view your account to see if I can help further or answer any questions you have. If you happen to be on Twitter, you find me as @eharmony_jack.

- Jack
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madconsumer on 04/23/2009:
I have always found these types of places of being fancy escort services.

you are better off seeking out men in the type of activities you enjoy. or doll up and go shopping for car parts or lawn and garden items. I am told church is a good place to find them also.
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EHarmoney: Be warned
Posted by on
CLEVELAND, TENNESSEE -- As a widow, my grown daughters had been encouraging me to join eHarmony for the last couple of years. I finally joined but thankfully, I only joined for three months. I have had very few matches, nothing in the last two weeks. Went I emailed their customer service department, they suggested I change my drinking preference from a few times a year to a more frequent use. In addition, they also suggested that I select more religions denominations as I had selected those that I felt were compatible with my religious views. I was surprised by their suggestion as both of these are indicators reflect who I am as a person. With supposedly thousands joining daily, I find it hard to believe there aren’t other people who have views similar to mine.

There is no refund if you are dissatisfied; however, I will obviously not renew my subscription. I now know that their commercials aren’t for real. In good conscience, I cannot recommend their service to any of my single friends.
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User Replies:
Soaring Consumer on 03/21/2009:
Wow, what crude, terrible suggestions. Make sure that they don't accidentally "auto-renew" your subscription.
Principissa on 03/21/2009:
Asking you to lie/change your religious beliefs is a terrible thing to ask someone to do. It's like asking you to change yourself, and that's not right at all. Double, triple, quadruple check that you are not on some kind of automatic subscription renewal, and make sure you tell your bank or CC to block any further payments from this place once your subscription is over. Also be sure to cancel way BEFORE, I mean like weeks, the subscription is set to renew.
ConsumerEqualizer on 03/21/2009:
Are we surprised? E-Harmony is basically the internet dating branch of religious right zealots trying to pull in non-zealot suckers and convert them. It's not enough they hate and only reluctantly allowed gays after being sued, they are basically trying to purify the straight dating pool and control-mold them into the purest, whitest, least tolerant "Christian" ahole clones possible.

Which is highly ironic because Jesus would slap the sh1t right out of them.
Anonymous on 03/21/2009:
Somebody IM Miss Marple and tell her E-Harmony is looking for drunk chics. lmao!
Disaster Worker on 03/21/2009:
Totally and completely inappropriate content ConsumerEqualizer.

To the OP, on behalf of those of us who regularly visit this site and provide constructive comments, I apologize for this person's response.
jktshff1 on 03/21/2009:
Consumer: It would be to your advantage to provide some documentation to your accusations.
Anonymous on 03/21/2009:
Their suggestions are outrageous! The drinking frequency, okay, I can understand that - almost - but the religious preferences? Don't change who you are, dear. That is something my mother has always told me and it applies regardless of your age. You'll be better off getting out and meeting people in your social circle. Good luck to you!
ConsumerEqualizer on 03/24/2009:
If anyone bothers to watch the documentary JesusCamp that is the exact type mentality of the people who run EHarmony. Organized religion has no place in online dating.
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